Margo's got Moxie ! : the diary of miss red high heels

I have had this in edit mode for several months now, and you know with all the crazy drama circling back at home and at work, here and there (some of which I unfortunately stirred up in stress) it was not going to be shared. I wanted to hide this joy, but I think it is the right time. I want to clear the air and also bring light to present day that yes LDRs are very hard, we work at it daily, and we appreciate everyone checking in, thanks for the support. I ask God daily to work on my heart not only for the man I am dating, but for my friendships as well. It is a very good feeling to surrender control and know that whatever happens, happens! Anyhow... here it is...  Our story. We worked for the same aerospace company in a town called Rancho Cordova. My best friend Adam Laakmann for a while had seen me go through the trials of heartbreak and my strong apathy towards love. I wasn’t ready for someone in my life and I didn’t make room. I had my family and my friends, and that was j...

Tevye asks Golde a question. If you have ever seen Fiddler on the Roof, or have a love of musicals, this scene is key. "Do you love me? She responds with... "I'm your wife." As you listen to her talk of what love is for them, you notice that their marriage is not one of today's age, but even still, it still rings truth to love. They had an arranged marriage (*spoiler alert*) she explains all that she does for him, and says that must be what love is.     Flash forward and I can imagine an elderly couple is in the grocery story and squabbaling over bananas. Friggin fruit people! He thinks all the brown freckles make a banana taste better and slightly green never hurt anyone and will ripe in time. She thinks less green, and less freckles, slightly more yellow, yet ripe enough to eat quickly. Who eats fruit right away? I don't. Thinking about a scenario like that, I wonder how do you respond, and why does that situation seem so tense?   I recently have spent ...

Hello readers... goodness it has been a month and a half, almost two months since my last post. I watched a movie called Strictly Ballroom awhile back. The main gal Fran was unnoticeable to others and tried so hard and did all she could to enter a contest with a man she didn't know nor cared for to save his bum. The point? He was arrogant, and never listened. Her mother shouted at him to listen to the rhythm as they practiced. The words echoed in his head when he fought with her on the steps, and suddenly it all made sense... LISTEN... that key word... and that brought them together. This respect and being able to be a team. You can't make it in a relationship, if you don't hear others out; this we seem to miss so often, when it is always about us. For me it was anyways.  ((Flashback)) I got in an accident on my birthday and apparently it was the end of the earth I had to spend it in the hospital. I was snowmobiling, and trying to turn, and hit the accelerator way too ha...

What my smartphone does for me? Beware Causes me to be more inclined to check for: text messages, snaps on snap chat, new Instagram posts, social media websites, and media in general.  I lose/break/get wet my phone so apparently it is like losing something I think is ideally important. Causes me to be paranoid but where I last placed it or where it is when I need it. Causes me to be insecure, less connected, self centered, carpel tunneled, loss of hearing, texting maniac. Waste more time on it than living life with others and in this world. Gives me carpel tunnel, weak wrists and early arthritis and hearing loss.  Causes me to add apps that charge for stupid things.  Hold pictures I may not need later or when I want them they are gone. Makes me realize how much lonelier each generation becomes when they buy them. Scares me how much I use mine. Causes me to unplug on vacations, but immediately come back to it when I return. No, ...

  A few weeks ago, a friend of mine discussed what it was like to watch her friend's husband dive into a world where there are no problems, no responsibility, and zero guilt, just a challenge that they had to beat. He spends hours on his computer, shooting down warlocks, defeating dragons, simulating a battle, or conquering a quest, meanwhile his son sits in a corner and waits to be heard. I was at the dog park, and as I listened a wave of fear washed over me... this can't be what consumes people from life is it? We escape to softer, calmer, pleasuring things, whether it be drinking alcohol, sex, video games, novels, movies, clubbing, cutting, complaining, negativity; any of these things and more, we look to them for solace and answers.    The answer won't be there, in fact it never was. The man asks his wife to play with him and their son to learn how to play these video games, as if it will absolve the greater issue: he does not want to see the world in front of him,...

My loving girl. I was feeling it as I sat on the porch of my apartment. I looked at her staring back at me from the window. I looked down and prayed and vowed I would at least try to get in.  Frustrated, I tore the felt screen of the front window trying desperately to get in. I had gone out earlier in the day and was everywhere. Somehow, some way, my mind just was on a roll, and I forgot where I placed my keys. We all do it, so I'm told.  Earlier that day, I ran errands and grabbed groceries at Target, went to the library to get lost in books, and more stories to read. I stopped at Jersey Mikes for a sandwich and Redbox for a few movies. I came home in a wonderful mood, ready to have a relaxing evening. I opened up my purse, and began to search for my keys.... I searched and began to panic. There is no way... I could not have...  I opened up the trunk and really began to lose my mind. I checked my bags and couldn't find them anywhere. I only had my car keys and ...

Around my house, I have little reminders of happiness and joy, things that make me unique too. On my walls, is a jungle them of canvas paintings featuring white birds in forestry, a giraffe, two zebras, and a picture of Prague of the river area outside a frame and another picture of my boyfriend and myself in SF. I have a comfy green couch and a blanket that covers the midsection for Mia to burrow in when I am at work and it faces the window of the exit door. I put my small 4ft xmas tree up in the corner of the TV.      On my fridge, there are holiday pictures from good friends from home; these by far our favorite. I love to send them cards at Christmas, hugely to put a smile on their face, and to also lift my spirits when I feel down. I distract myself and my own head when I am giving to others. What a wonderful feeling that is! The kitchen has no more table if you can believe it! I sold it to a man going through a tough divorce. It was weird at first not ...