The giver that keeps on giving: prayer for the out of reachers

I always wonder if each time there is a hand outstretched, or a helping octopus arm in your direction, you aren't going to ignore it, unless of course you don't want the help, in which case, seek no further assistance or bother with anything. I have always thought of myself as someone who enjoys helping people and working together with the resources I have or others carry to create something beautiful. I am caretaker personality and I give as much as I can. I remember being in a sermon at church where the pastor talked about how much gratitude we have for our maker who never ceases to amaze us with his gifts and love. In humanity, I think it comes to a point where we all seem to have our limits or conditions on which we justify no longer being able to give or possess grace, or humility. I have a difficult coworker at work whom I have given my all and stretched myself to the limit to reach her in a way I had hoped would effectively change how I was treated or how I felt each time I let them get to me. Even I do not have the strength as God does to embrace challenging circumstances or people, but I know I am not Him and am far from perfect. People give and expect in return, it's our biological nature to want to be recognized for the services we provide. but isn't it enough to see a person receiving your gift? how they choose to take it or do with what they will, is not your choice, or you responsibility. Growing up, I really wanted to be accepted by my peers, my family, and by guys. I would do anything and I kept on giving, hoping that if I bestowed this relentless kindness that eventually they would get the picture and adore me. In no way, was that the case. I was actually more at risk because I did not have confidence in myself or in what my mission for giving was for. Some people out there are just plain mean and real bullies and nothing we say or do can change that or them. Remember that moment when you bake some goodies, do chores, take time out of your life, day whatever, and you give it all, and you expect at the end to reap the benefits, get that attention you so thought you were going to get. It's not coming. The giver who keeps on giving is our Lord and he will never stop giving us the chance, dying for our sins, showing us grace, love, and patience, when we do not deserve any of it. We can sit here and keep on giving to whatever cause or whatever person ( I call them the out of reachers, the ones who are so far beyond our arm span), we can't even withstand any of it) and pray and hope they will instantly give back or just simply be nice. There are beautiful individuals in this world who contribute and give back, and give us energy, postitivity, hope, and acceptance, but if it's a game to see who will give the most or the best, we will wind up short, exhausted, and lost. Last weekend, I went to see a family member whom I chose to take the time for, spend money on, and give my heart to. You know what's ironic, I crave so much attention and love like some people in this world, could be some of us are never satisfied with what we have, always wanting to be better or the greatest. Maybe if I do this? Or if I give this, then I will find something special at the other end? I expected to gain something, maybe it was being in control, or launching acts of service, or just look at me, I did this. I came down to L.A feeling that way, and all high and mighty and especially during while I was doing ALL of the gift giving. I left socal, depleted, wiped out, happy to help, and grateful  and blessed I could be there, but entirely confused. That Sunday night, I racked my brain thinking I would feel incredible, pleased, and super proud of myself; but I didn't... I was humbled like nobody's business. How come I didn't just take what I deserved? What about me?! Reading that back to myself now I'm actually laughing out loud. No one owes me anything, and I don't owe them either. I only thought I did. I figured if I kept on giving, God would eventually give me what I wanted right then, and it would just work. Coming out of the woodwork, we feel as if we give and it should have a response. Believe me mind did and I gotta tell you something, I didn't take home a gold coin, a new dress, a kiss on the lips, a basket of food, no I walked away with something better : unconditional love. There isn't a store in the world, or a cause in this lifetime, that will ever amount to what God has given us and what we can give to others :). I loved on them, because I love who this woman is, flaws and all. Sometimes in other situations we can't do anything for a person, and we sit around, trying to contact them, wave a sign in their face, yell at them,  write a letter, make them jealous, sing a song, tattle, scream, cry, whine, and give it all we have. We could be thinking that this (what we are doing, this right here, all this time wasting, giving, giving, giving, look at me, pay attention to me please) is working. BUT IT'S NOT. If someone doesn't like you, or they don't believe, or don't agree, or won't listen, or they are just plain mean, all you can do in this moment, is let go.  There's a song from an animated Disney movie called "Frozen," my sister loves this movie, and this song, could not be more clear. "Let it go." Stop giving if nothing is happening, don't waste your heart or time, or space on an effort that in your eyes or mind (and I know you know) it is failing. God alone is the only one who can handle it, he is the master giver who keeps on giving. Don't believe me, then tell me why you are given another chance every time something bad happens... or you think your life is over.... All you can do for these tough problems and people is to pray for them, takes time, but that is the gift we can give and never lose hope.