D.A.B.D.A: Face it don't hide it

(Denial) Writing it on paper, saving it in a text message, calling and then hanging up by dialing on star *67, pretending you aren't there when you are standing in the next room, pressing snooze on the alarm to stay in the dream, doesn't diminish the words you want to say : "I miss you." Then, cursing at your cellphone because it's day who knows anymore, and they still haven't answered, oh what an ass, I'll show them, they can't do this to me, well, I never. (Anger) The hopeful side appears and you began to assume it's all your fault, if only you hadn't made them ignore you, or or, what a minute, if only I could get another shot, they will see, things will be better than ever. Maybe they simply forgot, had something come up, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. (Bargaining). You find  yourself refusing to go out, hiding behind junk food, ice cream, Netflix, anything to escape the world, or lashing out at your pals when it clearly has nothing to do with present day issues, or situations..... right. (Depression). Sure all of it sounds completely absurd, and immature, but when faced with rejection, it's like standing in front of an entire crowd and being laughed at, or cheating on a test and then getting caught; it's pretty humiliating. The worst part is, you can't do anything about it. The funny thing is, people tell you stop walking around like your past defines you, or that everything was so awful, that it will never work out, blah, blah, yeah Jane, I don't want to hear it, "because I have heard it a hundred times" scenario or get over it, move on. The story is pretty pathetic until it's your own and you find yourself wondering:  how did I get in this mess, or fall for this person? Then you remember where you are and you have to remind yourself, yes I miss them a lot, but is it worth wasting time to focus on them? Flashback : the tears, the I know, but maybe it will be different, I still really care about them, I can change. There is a pain in the back of your throat lodged right between where the exact breathing passage of a simple inhale and exhale would normally take place. Okay, so it didn't work out, that totally awesome person you drew up in your mind is kind of a snake, or maybe it was something at work and everything was building up to a gigantic explosion of the heart, where you just want to cry and that's all there is to it. Loss is a big deal, but so is rejection, especially if whoever it is meant a lot to you. Regardless of what happened, it doesn't diminish that it's still there, but it will be less painful once it's addressed. Happy people are those that have recognized their sadness and continue to care from afar, but are not willing to let it run or ruin rather.... their lives. (Acceptance). Yay! Miss Moxie signing off to find M and M's.