No Questions Asked, seriously it wasn't me! (stolen from HIMYM)

Ever have those moments where maybe it is super embarrassing to tell just about anyone what happened to you, or let's just say the moment you're in, could be a whole lot worse? I have had quite a few and all I want my friend to do, is : not ask any and I mean any questions! Sometimes it's a sticky situation and you have absolutely no idea how you got into it, but you want out right away. Or, it's that oh-so-awkward I did this, and let's not talk about it. Oh, you mean the time you shat your pants, or got stuck in a ballet tutu or a dress that you ripped in a department store dressing room, the time you got your head stuck in a bicycle rack at a movie theater? (shhh we weren't supposed to talk about that, that stays in house). I have had a series of my own crazy times of no questions asked. Let's just say the remain a mystery to those who don't need to know it, and those that do know, have been sworn to never mention it again, or I could just spontaneously drop one of there's in here, mwuhahahaha! The dawn of the Facebook era and everyone knows what you are doing and where you are, well that is if you tell them. Yuck. I detest such privacy invasion and hardly make my presence known on social media anymore because everyone asks questions. Well, that is what we thought we wanted until 20-50 posts later it's the same inquiry. Hello man, see above, yep she got her appendix remove, or sure she's prego, yep he's banned from practice. No questions asked is like : Hey, you tell a soul what happened here, no more box kept secrets for you, sure as if you have kept any so far. I think you better because, who knows what would happen. It would be like an example if you said to someone, "oh yeah no big deal, I slid on urine in the girls or guys bathroom before a talent show, made it look like I had peed my own pants, and the wet spot in the chair and your sweatshirt I used to cover it up after, which in fact completely leaked : 'TOTALLY NORMAL.' Awkward. No one likes talking about the sticky situations, if they did, it would be called the Awkward Club Anonmyous But Not Group; i.e. everyone goes around the circle and makes each person near them as uncomfortable as possible and one guy even says he landed in a business review meeting in a clown costume post his supposed kid's birthday, even though there wasn't birthday photos or cake stains... (scoots chair further away).... I um....yeah I think I'm going to go now. No, see no one says that. If they do, they are super brave, or just in a league of their own. No questions asked is exactly that. No pressure, no stares, no hooting, hollering, giggling, jokes, just a clean escape from what could have been oh so much worse! It's always hilarious though when people around you try to find out what really transpired when you got into that pickle and your buddy bailed you out. I often make up scenarios in my head as if I was taking one of those silly quizzes online, what did you get arrested for, or if you had to picture the weirdest possible situation what would it be, etc. A few my friends and I came up with in junior high was, dressing room breakdown, period stain and locked in someone else's closet tied to their clothes by accident. How would you explain pushing a door that says 'pull' and getting your hand stuck in the mechanism because you forgot to read the sign? Or, grabbing a pole on the train station or subway and holding it firmly, until realizing you are cutting off someone's circulation of their hand?! The outlook email gets sent out and it wasn't for them, oh god abort! No questions asked, hit recall and hope for success. There is a way out of isaneo land, just while it's going on, we just want to sink down on the ground and just crawl away. Again, no questions asked, we will get through this. Pass me some food, a synergy drink, or a cookie and bam, instant, "all better now," hmm for the most part. Until next time, psst, no questions asked blog readers.