Don't Judge a Book by its Cover and the Root of Apathy
I have seriously seen enough news about Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenner. We have so much other stuff going on in the world, that this I want to say "quit it." I don't know that person, but I do not have any right to judge. So many judgements rolling around right now, its ridiculous. From people posting gym progress pictures, to what someone wears, or stereotyping men and women when they have zero clue what they are talking about. I went to a bar the other night, still in work clothes, just me, and a guy gave me the once over like I was in the wrong place and overdressed. He handed me the wine list and I smiled and asked for the beer list. He apologized and told me he just figured that is what I would want. I didnt say a word. I like beer and wine, so that is fine.
I prefer beer to be honest, and yes I watch sports on tv, so Im not a typical social media or the like, of a woman. Hallejuah! Same goes with anything in life especially dating. It irks me big time when people poke around and wonder what the age difference is between couples, or whether they fit, or oh that person shouldnt hang with that person because that is wrong or that person is weird. Cut the crud please, you are not hurting anyone but you when you do that.
Dating and love is per someone and someone else and their choice. Age gaps the bigger they are, gosh yeah its weird when I hear about them, then I realize I do not care. How cool that I know a couple who is 15 years apart and doing well or one that made it work, LBG community too. Love is special, but cannot just be thrown around and takes a lot of work, so I see and hear. I get that God has someone for you, and for those who do not choose to believe nor want to, no matter. What matters is if you truly care about that person, or that thing you are passionate about, everything falls away. I opened by big fat mouth and judged a friend on their relationship choice, a boss no less. Now, seeing how they treat my friend, it all changed. You cannot know until you see for yourself. I believe too that it is definitely a place of acceptance that needs to be reached.
Lately, I have been super restless. I know that is kind of ridiculous considering I have been blessed to do so many fun things. My personality craves adventure and really has a hard time sitting still. When I am still, it means I am tired or completely worn out to do so. If I am not, then I am in heavy angst or impatience. I am not sure if that is ADHD prone or just simply because my anxiety flairs all the time, I have a need to be busy. Work has been slow, and praying it finally picks up.
I notice too, that with the apathy, comes sharing that negativity with friends whether or not they want to hear it. It's pretty bad! I mean its okay to share our feelings and thoughts, but all the time? No, then it is a way too much. I am grateful most of my friends can handle the highs and the lows. The apathy is not a great feeling. It tears into my heart and lets me believe I am in the wrong place in life, or that I need to hurry up and get going, I'm behind or whatever. I try to do as much new things as I possibly can, but also bring it back in to just simply getting outside and moving! The root of this negative behavior is myself. I am in control of it, and can resolve to be happy. I think it is because I am so nervous and excited and ready to go on my trips, that my mind is convincing itself that they should happen now, and why aren't they here yet, etc.
I am praying for that recognized calm of being content with what is right in front of me right now, the things that are tangible and dont disappear quickly over time, like food, clothes, or material things seem to do. I also truly believe its my apathy with the therapy I am receiving and how I feel like wow I have so much left to do, or why is it taking so long, yada, yada. If I can recenter on this first trip maybe, and recenter in general, it will make all the difference I hope. It could also be that the early bird days at work are beginning to get tiring and weary for me, maybe that needs to change too. Lots to think about; mind is always working and churning with thoughts.
I prefer beer to be honest, and yes I watch sports on tv, so Im not a typical social media or the like, of a woman. Hallejuah! Same goes with anything in life especially dating. It irks me big time when people poke around and wonder what the age difference is between couples, or whether they fit, or oh that person shouldnt hang with that person because that is wrong or that person is weird. Cut the crud please, you are not hurting anyone but you when you do that.
Dating and love is per someone and someone else and their choice. Age gaps the bigger they are, gosh yeah its weird when I hear about them, then I realize I do not care. How cool that I know a couple who is 15 years apart and doing well or one that made it work, LBG community too. Love is special, but cannot just be thrown around and takes a lot of work, so I see and hear. I get that God has someone for you, and for those who do not choose to believe nor want to, no matter. What matters is if you truly care about that person, or that thing you are passionate about, everything falls away. I opened by big fat mouth and judged a friend on their relationship choice, a boss no less. Now, seeing how they treat my friend, it all changed. You cannot know until you see for yourself. I believe too that it is definitely a place of acceptance that needs to be reached.
Lately, I have been super restless. I know that is kind of ridiculous considering I have been blessed to do so many fun things. My personality craves adventure and really has a hard time sitting still. When I am still, it means I am tired or completely worn out to do so. If I am not, then I am in heavy angst or impatience. I am not sure if that is ADHD prone or just simply because my anxiety flairs all the time, I have a need to be busy. Work has been slow, and praying it finally picks up.
I notice too, that with the apathy, comes sharing that negativity with friends whether or not they want to hear it. It's pretty bad! I mean its okay to share our feelings and thoughts, but all the time? No, then it is a way too much. I am grateful most of my friends can handle the highs and the lows. The apathy is not a great feeling. It tears into my heart and lets me believe I am in the wrong place in life, or that I need to hurry up and get going, I'm behind or whatever. I try to do as much new things as I possibly can, but also bring it back in to just simply getting outside and moving! The root of this negative behavior is myself. I am in control of it, and can resolve to be happy. I think it is because I am so nervous and excited and ready to go on my trips, that my mind is convincing itself that they should happen now, and why aren't they here yet, etc.
I am praying for that recognized calm of being content with what is right in front of me right now, the things that are tangible and dont disappear quickly over time, like food, clothes, or material things seem to do. I also truly believe its my apathy with the therapy I am receiving and how I feel like wow I have so much left to do, or why is it taking so long, yada, yada. If I can recenter on this first trip maybe, and recenter in general, it will make all the difference I hope. It could also be that the early bird days at work are beginning to get tiring and weary for me, maybe that needs to change too. Lots to think about; mind is always working and churning with thoughts.
Comments
Post a Comment