Love your way through this path: Friendship, Health Learning, Conscious Adulting, Budgeting, and Being your own person
This year so far has been more about health and my growth and change as a person than ever. I've reaffirmed having health concerns and issues I have ignored for years by it escalating this year. I have spent more on health costs more than a canvas in an art gallery, to find out what I need to to be healthy.
I broke my clavicle and healed it, lost several friends, I’m beginning to learn more about budgeting and what it takes to cultivate an energy people want to be around, and remain true to myself. I have leaky gut, Hashimotos hypothyroidism,- can't have gluten or dairy and have tried over six diff plans of health tracks, which some dear friends suggested for me, but I wont give up! Today I’d like to thank and show love to the friends and folks who never left, and for those that have left too. Thank you for walking out, so I can realize who I need to be and being apart of that period of my learning. I love when others share their journies and stories of what they are going through too.
Yes, we are all aware it is hard to be friends with someone who struggles with something, and mad props to those who do not share what they face or have anxiety and depression. Consider this thought... those same troubled hearts explode with tenacity and a fighting force that is hell bent on improvement and joy in all we do. You guys rock! Your triumphs, your failures, your lessons, give me insight and humility and a lot of respect. I am not a lone, nor are you, thanks for not giving up on yourselves or on me.
The thing is, we aren't weak, we are considered a bother or a disturbance. We are among the meek. The meek calls out the essence being weak, when in fact, those who are, are the ones who are the strongest.... These are the warriors who show it’s okay to be vulnerable, beautiful, and completely unapologetically yourself.
This year has also been a reminder to continue that adulting phase. I know it is not a word at all, but I use it anyway. I use to read self help books to maintain learning as much knowledge as I can to work on myself. Your family may see you and love you because well they are family and love you by default. It is your friends who signed on to care about you and stick around, because of what you give them. I can however, say I'm working on being present for my friends and family. Self disclosure feels ugly and yet we do it a lot! It is all over social media, we crave it, we love it, and we need it. We actually like the lives we live because we can say, yep I am fine compared to them or man that sucks, so glad that isn't me. Truth and reality says no. My friends don't want to hear about issues, or venting all the time, what they want to hear is what's good, what is going well, how am I doing, or my guy, or my job. It is so easy to tell myself I will get this down by tomorrow. I would like to tell you sure sunshine it is always good, but that is FAT LIE. We the post college, longer now employed work force human race are adulting and struggling, and fighting and by George do we make excuses, fail, mess up, and fall.
Adulting means no you don't go out the night before you teach Sunday school, or the night before a huge work conference, or eat out when you can't afford it in the budget for that week. Adulting means being honest and up front with others. Quit the act. Stand up for what you need to work through and work through it. It also means being able to share less about yourself all the time, and listen to others share their struggle. Looking back on my friendships, I have pushed more people away because my struggles seemed more important and they had to listen. I was encompassing so much drama and chaos that their spirits become squashed or tired of hearing about everyone else's issues rather than the person they chose to visit with.... ME. I can't call it an excuse or blame it on ADHD, or my gut problems. Nope.
With adulting comes budgeting. Start budgeting my finances, take control of my spending habits, and continue to focus on the bigger picture. There is a point you reach in life, where it stops contributing to a big spending pot of nothing. The pot of nothing fades into the black when your savings dwindle, or when something out of the norm happens to you like a snowmobile accident (the one I had back in Feb) catches you off guard. It makes you realize what is important and how saving more than just a 401k savings plan will help you in the long run. Budgeting to me has always been boring and confusing. I never took the time to care. I will go far as to began stepping out and finding more library books on how to manage finances.
Cripes... this was a word my sister used to say was her word when we were growing up. I was not allowed to say this because it was her catch phrase... she owned it. Little did I know, I would come to find, the phrase was made up and used to avoid saying the word CRAP. Crap, man... adulting is hard. Crap sister, where was I when all these changes decided to roll out without warning? Crap, I am getting it now.
The Crap we speak of is growing us and helping us whether it be muddling through health concerns, recovering from an accident or a mistake you didn't plan on happening, the No's you have to say in order to self care, the friends you remove from your life to move on and protect your heart, the changes you make to survive, all this to become an adult...one who is truly adulting and who is conscious of others and of themselves. Love your way through this. Love you way through the crap people. Because the crap is going to keep coming LOL and the only way to go is through it!
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