Experiencing a layoff : "the I made it, but they didn't"

Aerojet Rocketdyne had to go through a layoff of 60 employees at our sight. I have never been through layoff before. My father has been through several as have some of my friends. However, this will mark my first time right in the middle of it all. This morning I came into work like any other day and began my daily routine. The company informed us the layoff would happen at the end of the month. People weren't sure when and or how. I can tell you, that it was a killer to everyone's overall morale and stability for the past couple weeks. Imagine not knowing if you are going to be packing your bags and leaving at any second. Programs I support are losing funding and the reality hits like a stone cold rock to a window, shattering safety, or what we hoped would be job security. Now I can't sit here and gloat, but I often felt guilty today because I passed. I made it through and I didn't get called... some of my colleagues did. Ciro Morales, Diana Davis, Art Mclevy, Paul Parinas, Randy Brumley, Joel Hewitt, Kim Renken, Everett McAdams, Bob Pauley, those are just a few who really affected me. Kim was actually headed into my office, and I assumed it was about work, and inquired I was up and running and ready and she shook her head with a smile and said,"Nope Margo, I've been chosen." I was devastated and at a loss. Ciro was one of the first and that man was so positive and uplifting and always had food to share with the floor and quotes and rocket videos to see. He was always asking if anyone needed help and had candy during holidays and funny things to say.  Kim always would wear the best outfits and she goes to my church so I am thankful I still get to see her, she did so much for one of my programs. Randy was my office mate on the other side of the wall. I would say good morning and goodbye every day and he would be great to talk to when there was a lull in the day, smart guy too. I could sit here and tell you about each one, and not be able to stop the compliments and the memories. I watched them all pack their stuff, say their goodbyes, hold their benefits packages, sign off their desktops, unhook their phones for the last time. I know it's silly because lots of people go through these all the time. What makes it hard, is that you won't see them in that familiar place anymore, or grab work coffee in the break room and chat about the status of assignments, or their lives. What's sad is that while watching, you must continue to work and go on, because there is nothing you can do and it's outside of your control. Some headed to the bars to grab a drink or a lunch. I headed to the gym with a heavy heart, but with a prayer that if this is just the beginning, that we save our money, be smart, stay connected, know that this isn't the end, and be happy! I speak for all those who made it, and myself, a tough day, a draining one, but we are resilient all of us, whether we had to leave, or we get to stay, the human spirit is amazing and remarkable at rebuilding itself one step at a time. This is moxie signing off to go bake!