What is lost?

I have exactly what I need just right here now if I could just remember what it was I needed I could get going. Yes, believe it or not I don't quite remember what I was searching for. Could it be my wallet? Could it be my book or my pen, or my shoes? Or maybe my phone or my car keys? All practical things I think. Maybe I am looking fod my coat, my watch, or my hat? Could it be earrings or a locket or my laptop perhaps? All materials things, that I may be okay without if I really tried. Did I lose my grandmother's pearls, my diary, or my photos, or even my diploma? All special, personal things. Again, maybe I am certain those if lost Id be okay without. Did I lose my mind or, my paperwork, my project, my job, the map, my way, my sanity or my ticket? Everyday things I could lose again and again. Now what is it what did I lose? Have I lost interest, my heart, my soul, control, reasoning, concentration, or substance, human emotion perhaps? These things this grow this change those powerful feelings. What have I lost? I dont know what I lost unless I know what it is exactly that it was that I had or I thought I had. I could sit here and wonder and contemplate how much I have really lost something valuable and important; I could dream and fixate on this idea of said loss and aimlessly attempt to entertain that what I lost will return to me or that it will miss me and find its way back. What if what I lost is irreplaceable, the unreversed moment, the stitch in time, where the loss is permanent. Sure, it is painful and seems awfully dreadful at the time. I might even sound completely crazy, but whatever it is that I lost or imagined, it must have been something memorable, something to write about, to record. What I lost isnt tangible at first, but its physical, mental, diabolical, its love and death, beginning and ending, the next chapter, why its me the very essence of shedding from a cocoon, away from what I think I lost or assumed I did lose, to where I can be found, and that is right here, tomorrow and the next day, found and standing out with all of my colors like a butterfly ready to explore!