Real love, infatuation, lust: what do you mean?

For weeks I have analyzed the situation like a biologist would a specimen under a scope. I dont know what they are going through and I dont know what I did but ill pray about them and realize I can not do anything. I am 26 yrs old I dont care about age but it makes a big deal when I still have my world ahead. It hurts so much  when they are pushing me away. If we dated, in 10 yrs we would only resent each other. I dont want that, and I dont want to lose their friendship but Ill hurt myself more if I keep trying at a dead end road. . Ive been nothing but loyal and I defend my friends when people talk smack. Real love is when you can let go and you want the best for someone but also for yourself. Real love is when you respect someone no matter what and communicate with trust and understanding with a little bit of introspection and care. Infatuation is when you have crush that takes no action and your obsession becomes lust over what you think you should have and should control and how a person should be for you. love is when you remove yourself from the equation and release the need for anger, that you see their side even if they dont say it. Infatuation is when you love a person for what you think they should be and love is when you love them for who they really are. Manipulation is powerful and dangerous. Physical and verbal abuse can really harm someone even if the person doesnt realize what they have done. Maybe they unfriended you on social media, shouted at you for no reason at all, humiliated you with harsh words ro get what they wanted. For years I was up against it and even partook in it towards others which was debilitating to them. Real love is when you can remove yourself completely and take the higher road. Meeting prince charming in Galway, I realized I am in there somewhere, a woman who chooses to love and be loved unconditionally by God but loved energetically and emotionally by friends, family, and by myself. I can't do this anymore, or let you have this power. Wherever you are, I know you hurt, I hurt too, I forgive you and I care about you but time to let go. Feels good to write about what I think and feel without being shushed or judged. Next season, new leaf, I am ready. And already as I stood on the Cliffs of Moher I was refreshed! Maybe my Irish prince will find me ;).  Bring on the next chapter!!! 

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