Show me how you Sparkle: Respect or be disrespected
Holding my nine west high heels in my hand as walk into the building with my navy blue kick around flats, I can't help but think how silly it is to think I still think I need to wear heels. I love them actually. I am already super tall, but for some reason, with my long legs, it fits. The downside is walking from building to building feeling like your legs are going to fall off or blister. Guys don't know this pain, and often say why where them. I have been finding if I carry flats for walking and heels for meetings, and or office, I sometimes cover what I need. I work with men, a lot of men. Don't get me wrong there are some women who work here and are engineers or some other field, but if you had to look at the ratio, I guarantee it's full blooded male.
No complaints, well maybe just one. There is that tiny little problem of being single as a 27 year old female (and as father constantly reminds me), a zoo of sharks. I laugh at this and assume it's hardly relevant and seemingly ridiculous, until you consider this. Consider, some of these men are married, or have girlfriends, some of these women work with these men and are coupled. Who cares right? As a child, I played with barbie dolls and color, but rarely did you see me tampering with a science project, or getting muddy in the dirt outside, or shooting b b gun's around the pool deck of my house. My sister and I just didn't do it. I am sure she would say speak for yourself, but even if we did, our parents would remind us, chores are inside, and that's where the dolls were.
My sister was the best contradiction. She was a tomboy and wore overalls and used to flush my doll's heads down the toilet. It used to infuriate me. Now looking back, I kind of wonder what it would be like to be one. Now, I sort of know. I shoot back a Newcastle like it's water and the only ones who scold me are the ones asking me to be a lady. Now hold on, I am one. I don't talk back to my mother(ok fine sometimes), I wash up before dinner and sit properly at the table, I curtail the curse words as best I can(that's a tough one), and I know how to make a delicious set of enchiladas, or full course meal before dusk, which includes ambiance and table setting.
What in the world is a lady anyway? I had to become I guess a she-man or a brute in this industry. It is a take no crap kind of place. You want to cry? Go to the bathroom, or if you do cry, just know guys cannot (prove me wrong) stand crying, period. Doesn't mean they are heartless, they are just wired differently. As I am toting my heels, and walking into work, I comb my hair, and brush my teeth, then when at my desk, I put my face on. 'Put my face on' was something I adapted from a friend who used to tell me, it was either the clown face, or the I am awake, I am woman, hear me roar. In other words, if a woman puts on makeup, instantly treated a whole heck of a lot better than if she doesn't wear any. Some say it means she doesn't care about herself, who knows. I realize a person should not care what other people think, but that is a whole different ball game at work. You have an impression to make, and the way you present yourself is part of that. Respecting where you work is by how you behave, often what you wear, how you talk, etc. People watch. I recently received an earful of advice on how lately, I have slacked off in terms of respect. Truth is, I am sure some of them are right. Life circumstances tend to make us bitter, lazy, depressed, selfish even, and it in return reflects how we dress and act.
Agree to disagree. I listened intently, but didn't completely side with some of the accusations being made. Most were about how some of women in your life will be intimidated by you for life, or how hanging out with someone who is attached is a dangerous game. They are right in some ways. As a woman, I do have to hold my own, but I also need to keep myself accountable and set a boundary if I have to. However, I am not fantastic either. We work nine hours a day, 4-5 times a week, and we see a lot of each other in some cases, not on purpose, but because of work tasks. Sometimes you even become friends with these people. They don't advise it, but it's up to that person to differentiate their disclosure level, closeness, or decision not to enter into that because of how critical a project could be. There is always a risk with friendships at work. I know full well. They ask me where else can you go meet a fella, or make new friends. I do so many activities, and engage in hobbies, but sometimes that isn't enough.
Sometimes, work friends become allies in plots for difficult days, or tough processes, or happy accomplishments. We are a team, but as Barb says, we are family. I will take what they say into consideration, maybe it's out of respect to their significant others, to not attend a trivia night anymore (even though it's what I enjoy), or spending time with the crew when maybe as soon as I work with them, that can't happen. Not sure yet. I am certain I will have to gauge it with each situation and check myself, if you will. Everybody is different, but we are being watched closely, even if we don't see it, or some of us don't don't know it, and or care about it.
Show me how you sparkle she said. Show me how you shine. I put my face on and I make it happen. Sometimes I mess up, actually no, I mess up a lot. I make mistakes, and have cried in the bathroom(so what). Sure there is a way to carry yourself and act. Believe me, I would like to smash the stereotype and that men and women need to trust one another, but oddly enough, of those little accusations, some are warning voices in my head. I will heed some of them, and then do what I can with the rest. I will respect with what I have to work with, and try not to cause what I hope not to cause. Isn't life wonderful though? It is cool to work with the guys actually. They are reminding me to be myself, get it together, quit taking it personally( my brothers do this too), and to kick butt at what I do, not just for show, but for myself. Winning! Now to find breakfast...
My sister was the best contradiction. She was a tomboy and wore overalls and used to flush my doll's heads down the toilet. It used to infuriate me. Now looking back, I kind of wonder what it would be like to be one. Now, I sort of know. I shoot back a Newcastle like it's water and the only ones who scold me are the ones asking me to be a lady. Now hold on, I am one. I don't talk back to my mother(ok fine sometimes), I wash up before dinner and sit properly at the table, I curtail the curse words as best I can(that's a tough one), and I know how to make a delicious set of enchiladas, or full course meal before dusk, which includes ambiance and table setting.
What in the world is a lady anyway? I had to become I guess a she-man or a brute in this industry. It is a take no crap kind of place. You want to cry? Go to the bathroom, or if you do cry, just know guys cannot (prove me wrong) stand crying, period. Doesn't mean they are heartless, they are just wired differently. As I am toting my heels, and walking into work, I comb my hair, and brush my teeth, then when at my desk, I put my face on. 'Put my face on' was something I adapted from a friend who used to tell me, it was either the clown face, or the I am awake, I am woman, hear me roar. In other words, if a woman puts on makeup, instantly treated a whole heck of a lot better than if she doesn't wear any. Some say it means she doesn't care about herself, who knows. I realize a person should not care what other people think, but that is a whole different ball game at work. You have an impression to make, and the way you present yourself is part of that. Respecting where you work is by how you behave, often what you wear, how you talk, etc. People watch. I recently received an earful of advice on how lately, I have slacked off in terms of respect. Truth is, I am sure some of them are right. Life circumstances tend to make us bitter, lazy, depressed, selfish even, and it in return reflects how we dress and act.
Agree to disagree. I listened intently, but didn't completely side with some of the accusations being made. Most were about how some of women in your life will be intimidated by you for life, or how hanging out with someone who is attached is a dangerous game. They are right in some ways. As a woman, I do have to hold my own, but I also need to keep myself accountable and set a boundary if I have to. However, I am not fantastic either. We work nine hours a day, 4-5 times a week, and we see a lot of each other in some cases, not on purpose, but because of work tasks. Sometimes you even become friends with these people. They don't advise it, but it's up to that person to differentiate their disclosure level, closeness, or decision not to enter into that because of how critical a project could be. There is always a risk with friendships at work. I know full well. They ask me where else can you go meet a fella, or make new friends. I do so many activities, and engage in hobbies, but sometimes that isn't enough.
Sometimes, work friends become allies in plots for difficult days, or tough processes, or happy accomplishments. We are a team, but as Barb says, we are family. I will take what they say into consideration, maybe it's out of respect to their significant others, to not attend a trivia night anymore (even though it's what I enjoy), or spending time with the crew when maybe as soon as I work with them, that can't happen. Not sure yet. I am certain I will have to gauge it with each situation and check myself, if you will. Everybody is different, but we are being watched closely, even if we don't see it, or some of us don't don't know it, and or care about it.
Show me how you sparkle she said. Show me how you shine. I put my face on and I make it happen. Sometimes I mess up, actually no, I mess up a lot. I make mistakes, and have cried in the bathroom(so what). Sure there is a way to carry yourself and act. Believe me, I would like to smash the stereotype and that men and women need to trust one another, but oddly enough, of those little accusations, some are warning voices in my head. I will heed some of them, and then do what I can with the rest. I will respect with what I have to work with, and try not to cause what I hope not to cause. Isn't life wonderful though? It is cool to work with the guys actually. They are reminding me to be myself, get it together, quit taking it personally( my brothers do this too), and to kick butt at what I do, not just for show, but for myself. Winning! Now to find breakfast...
Comments
Post a Comment