Margo's got Moxie ! : the diary of miss red high heels

"Between the hidden of emotions of my last day at work last week, feeling loved by all who showed to my going away event and also the sentiments of those who couldn't make it, coupled with my over expectations of my friendships and wanting to be everyone's friend, in transition/stress/anxiety with a move down to so cal in a week and a few days and new job, and wanting to give 100 percent to others and put them all first, and so on, to needing to be good to myself and let go and take care of me; one thing won't change, this l one knows when I need downtime and cuddles."❤Mia I have so much regurgitating hope that people will like me as I am or I try harder when they don't. Remarkable is I am learning to be okay with silences and not steady conversation or a need to fix or pry in how someone should be dress, think etc. It is hard because you have a vision for how someone should be in your mind, not how they are. Not how they are to themselves but to you, which ...

Woefully admit to this, still a terrible driver, especially when it comes to backing out or into garages. Hit the side of my parent's garage this week; wasn't fun. I am trying to be gentle with myself, but when this stuff happens, I don't brush my shoulders off, I cry. I full on cry, and hide. Anger is not my thing, if you yell I don't yell back unless I feel like I have something to contribute to.   Again, the patience has to come from me though. I am in a bonafide transition again. Soon to be going from living at home, to moving down south to San Diego. I had so many mixed feelings about seeing the bible study gals for our goodbye dinner. I barely left the Bird Cage Plaza off of Sunrise and began to cry. I have known them a long time. I have spent my time with them and cultivated relationships with each of them. It has been a blast. They were so loving and gave me a goodbye care package, and I will keep in touch, and be here for holidays.    Goodbye to other things ...

  I was all over the place with New Yr's plans. Apparently God had something better planned. My car was leaking fluid Thursday last week, and had I driven at all that day, my car would have blown up and been gone. My brother and I found the leak on the pavement. At first I thought it was his car, because he recently got his license and took James and my old car, aka Tori. His had a minor fix, but mine however, became shockingly obvious it was mine. The water pump had to be replaced. All I could think of was, damn, I am screwed. He parked it in the garage, called dad, and let things play out. I called the dealership first thing in the am, and prayed silently that they would see me before the holiday rang in. They agreed and pickup was at 4. I cancelled my day plans, and waited. It was nerve-racking, stressful, and one hell of a day. I arrived at a friends house that night, went to a great dinner called Bene Pizza in Placerville and hung out for the evening.    I figured ...