Margo's got Moxie ! : the diary of miss red high heels

I left for L.A last week took Thursday off from work and couldn't wait to get the heck out of dodge. My dad loaded up the family van Wednesday night and we drove down to Clovis and stayed the night at a family friends. in the morning Dad drove another four hours to L.A.  We managed to check into the Marriott Hotel and had a great afternoon at the beach. This Easter weekend was awesome, much needed reprieve/break and let's just say moxie fell asleep on the beach after frolicking and became lobster red without even knowing it! Hopefully that will turn into a tan! As we drove the full 7 1/2 hours home, we stopped for gas and my heart briefly stopped when I saw Dad's price for the van. $100.00 dollars for a full tank! Imagine if he had a truck, that'd be even more. I considered the price a person pays to take a trip for a weekend against flying down there roundtrip would cost more depending on when you bought it, or who with. However, I myself have wanted to visit people, O...

Love owes me one I feel horrible to complain, but I am so tired. I give until my hands are numb and my lips are blue. Christianity calls upon us to give and expect nothing in return. I am the person who goes above what is expected, in fact I know people who know what I am talking about when it comes to caring and loving. I have to know when to set a boundary and say “I cannot take it anymore.” I enjoy helping others out, but I also become so drained, because there is so much output involved and I don’t quit. Maybe I expect results or someone to come and take care of me.    I feel love owes me one (as the lyrics of Ronnie Dunn flow through my head). I need to feel wanted and needed, but I also very much require that same reciprocation in order to feel loved and be appreciated. Sometimes I give and the person says nothing, or they just don’t care like I do. I want to know when it’s    my turn, when I will be with that person who isn’t a jerk, or doesn’t push me a...

Forbidden territory I don’t know what it is about the idea of a great guy with a woman who treats them poorly, but it strikes a chord with me. I watch them get destroyed, yelled at, stepped on, and they take all of it, no cheating, no pushing or fighting. I always wonder why they don’t stick up for themselves or walk away. I have to say the confident ones are more appealing, but then you also see the men who can once they have your trust, show their flaws, internally beautiful.    I notice those can be dangerous too, because how smart is it to be with someone who may already be broken down, or isn’t mature enough to handle what is being asked from a woman?    Maybe it’s something of an illusion for ladies to be with a male individual who will genuinely want to protect and love them and that it will be a good, healthy relationship like the one my parents have, or aunt and uncle. I don’t think its imagination, I think it can happen; it may be more obscure though. P...

So last night I came home from the gym and got a message from my friend Patrick saying hey want to come take a free pole dancing lesson with me from some friends in the bay? In my head... U must be joking, no I cant do that! On second thought oh I can and Im gonna suck it up and get ready because I only live once. Yep margo is shell shock nervous. Grabbed the instructed sports bra put it on with gym capris and headed out the door. Long drive, plenty of time to talk and give patrick my insight on life aka maybe bore him but teach him a tad bit on what he wanted to know about women. Not my best, but hey good music and chatting means arrive in a good mood leave in a good mood :). We arrived at the house and the people I had never met four or five of them were eating a well-cooked meal atthe table upon our arrival. Off hand not remembering all names but Jeanine was one of them. All of them have taken classes before and wanted to teach lessons to folks like myself and Patrick. We ate soup, ...

There is something incredibly exciting and scary about moving to a new area. I moved to the gold river area on the first of february from Roseville. Roseville i'd say is like it's neighbor granite bay whose community is either a ton of high school kids, or retirees, or marrieds. Don't get me wrong, I have some friends who live there and its a great area, but if you want to hit up a bar or enjoy the night life you are living in the wrong place! Although, i met a nice group of women there, and made a community at gold's gym I was quite ready for more than "that provincial life." I moved closer to work and into an apartment with a cool roommate and have started to explore fair oaks or should I say, rooster town? yes, I said roosters. they are everywhere. all kinds of them. I saw one yesterday that resembled the do of Elvis; he was a scrawny little guy, but very entertaining regardless lol. I am a shy person when it comes to big crowds so I wandered the town and b...

Could it be a hazard, call it misconception, but I confuse my sense of direction The way in which a person comes and goes Want you only if you don’t want them Trying to figure out and for what? God only knows Make a wish, write a note, say a prayer Lump in throat, holding breath Things change but I still care I could let you listen to the sound of my beating heart Or how happy I am when I think I can I can hold onto the spirit, the memories (my friend) even if we are far apart So hard, the feeling of being completely lost or alone What is it that cannot be found There is no recovery with just a call on the phone To see your face, to know your there A distance cuts the rights of our existence Hanging by a thread, I can’t do this without… Tugging on the edge of your resistance… Slowing down, if I could just…. I see my hands slipping, my fingers are weeping You are gone, I don’t even know this person, who are you Must …. Let… go! Freedom in the ...

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After a much anticipated special and incredible birthday weekend, I am left thinking of so many things. The first being of the many blessings in my life...for starters, my family and friends, the beautiful new apartment and roommate I have and the area I have moved to, my grandpa's health, recovery mode, a full time job, support and love, the ability to enjoy dancing and doing things I love in my life. As much as I despise bringing it up, I find myself doing so again.  I have made mistakes in my life, one last week specifically which changed me, thankful to be alive and lesson learned, I am left with one notion: I clung to myself that night. I was desperately feeling empty despite God's angels and my lucky circumstances, and knew what it was again the internal fear I have always harbored inside my being....  ( yes that feeling I've dreamt for and figured I would have someday) to love and be loved. A person can go and treat themselves to a nice meal, pampering, a new adv...