Forbidden Territory:

Forbidden territory

I don’t know what it is about the idea of a great guy with a woman who treats them poorly, but it strikes a chord with me. I watch them get destroyed, yelled at, stepped on, and they take all of it, no cheating, no pushing or fighting. I always wonder why they don’t stick up for themselves or walk away. I have to say the confident ones are more appealing, but then you also see the men who can once they have your trust, show their flaws, internally beautiful.  I notice those can be dangerous too, because how smart is it to be with someone who may already be broken down, or isn’t mature enough to handle what is being asked from a woman?  Maybe it’s something of an illusion for ladies to be with a male individual who will genuinely want to protect and love them and that it will be a good, healthy relationship like the one my parents have, or aunt and uncle. I don’t think its imagination, I think it can happen; it may be more obscure though. People want what they cannot have and it also bugs them that another person would ‘have’ and they don’t. The idea of forbidden territory of being with a person whom you know you could make happy more so than the person they are with, well it seems like a nice feeling inside, however, it’s an ugly premonition to behold. As a caretaker personality, I hit danger zone, and automatically assume someone thinks of me romantically when in truth they don’t. I flirt back thinking to myself that maybe this could be something, and then realize I can’t anymore when I know it won’t go anywhere, or I figure out they do this with every girl.  -_-.   I know I am afraid of chances, afraid of getting hurt, and terrified of being left, hopeful, but I don’t see past impatience or ignorance possibly. The forbidden could be a dream you can have, of something that isn’t real or something that you know is impossible or just replacing what’s missing, or what a person wants, or thinks they need. Freud explains desire further in his established theories: id, ego, and super ego, i.e. the structure of the human mind. I started a lent project for this exact frame of reference, which on Saturday it will have been four weeks. The parameters are private, but the perception of the assignment is the same because I have to keep myself in check of these ‘forbidden wants’ if you will; the worst part is that I actually do not agree with the restriction (laughs). A human being makes mistakes, purely by their own choice, and divine interest of doing something they can’t do, maybe bored, maybe insecure, maybe living life, and not answering to people is one way of looking at it. Punish a person for his or her wrong doing, but please don’t be surprised if he or she does it again. I jump around on topics my apologies, but going back to what I say regarding forbidden, it attracts people especially myself, because I am a risk taker. I don’t run through all the consequences, I jump, sometimes it works, other times, it’s catastrophic. However, if forbidden means learning, or becoming stronger, then why do we label something as forbidden in the first place? I am not siding with people who commit an act of infidelity, thievery, or any drastic behavior all of which are truly wrong and don’t need to be committed; that crosses a boundary. I introduce that territory in many ways different for everyone, whether internal or external homosapiens are designed to want. People don’t watch where they are walking, if they did they wouldn’t get where they were going. Same goes for forbidden territory. We know where we are going; we know exactly what we are doing, but we still do the exact opposite of what people say we should not do, and maybe it takes a huge rock bottom lesson, or some kind of awakening for reality to settle in and show the inner reason to be able to change and grow. I know I fall prey to taking care of people and I put my whole heart into everything, so if this person isn't giving back, or they have bagagge and drama of their own, huge heads up, that won't change because you're there, in fact it will only get worse, and then they may rely on you so much that you can't breathe or may come to believe that's the only way they show their love for you. Forbidden is forbidden because it's the danger sign at  beach showing you rocky coast, or sharks in shallow waters, it's the skull on top of chemistry lab box outside a laboratory displaying toxic waste or poisonous chemicals, or it's the you in the garden, and biblical scripture refers to the evil snake telling the women do not eat the fruit. moral? I'm sure the fruit is good, and I am certain you want it very much, (I could be speaking for myself) but that fruit can only last for its time and then it will sour in your mouth, and leave you empty, washed out of energy and joy you thought you would have be taking it. Forbidden territory is tempting, but how far will you go, before you cannot go back from where you started.