Margo's got Moxie ! : the diary of miss red high heels

You know what really is disconcerting, is expecting someone to understand who you are and as the saying goes: "be unapologetically yourself." I can't apologize for thinking, feeling, saying, breathing, or anything, but for some reason i always do. I fear what people think, and what will come out of it and how I will be judged and one day i wont care so much, I will not berate myself for mistakes Ive made or for someone else who doesnt understand me or appreciate who iam. I have two awesome brothers who when everything seems awash they remind me Im worth it. Sitting in the hot tub at a hotel that looks like an italian villa, the other nite, a random firework went off in the sky, max and I looked up and I felt better. It was a gold light of sparks and incredibly surprising. I am so anxious and at times cannot help what I feel. When I miss people I really miss them, no question. When I care I really care, and its funny when you dont expect something terrible to happen or if ...

Workaholic: My career/school comes first I have heard it said before, that when people put their job over their home life or their well-being they can get burned. Sure it’s nice to have a sweet paycheck that goes up, and a boss nod or recommendation or promotion, but is it really super awesome when the people you love, don’t get to see you ? I can’t launch into my opinion without providing my own scope at work. I want to be able to be a level three data manager and it would be incredibly cool to be able to travel, write for Google and lead a team, but that’s a lot to ask for someone who has only been here a year. Try taking a red eye flight, juggling a laptop and a conference call, with a beeper in hand for emergencies (over dramatized version, but pretty close), and then it becomes clear. Deadline for tests or project comes up, say goodbye to social life, sleep, and normal until said studying or project is finished. People claim they love the constant go and non-stop hit the ground...

Someone once told me that if something happens to you or about you, or near you, write about it. I started a normal everyday workday with the whole mindset that I would get some work done and then head to the gym. Everything was going quite well till 3pm rolled around. A coworker stopped by to talk to me about last weekend. The guy inadvertently sat on my desk.....okay granted it would be like leaning against a structure, but still major annoying and I have a chair for a reason in my office. He chatted away and then all of a sudden the desk came off it's hinges and out flew two heavy computer monitors, a phone and its jacks and headset, a large printer and the desk shelf itself... it happened so fast I didn't have time to pull back. The whole set of it landed on my right foot. I went oh shiz... yes I managed a non cuss word.... miracle people... miracle. bit my fist and groaned in pain. I looked down and it was purple! The loud thud caused my office mate to come over and then o...

The winds of change: old memories flood in, but new ones are made A memory is a moment where time seems to go too quickly, and you hold on to every second as if you never want to let go.Imagine being in a time machine directing your travel to these precious spells of joy. I remember I was on the swim team and I would get up at the crack of dawn to go to practice and during winter and fall seasons of swim team. It was freezing, even bundled in a parka and sweat pants over my suit. I used to loathe getting up and then after practice I would only wash my air so the chlorine smelt strong and clung to my skin as if I was a mermaid with scales. Those days I called all of teammates my family, since we were together almost all the time. Shifting to the mountains and cabin of Lakemont Pines, where my grandma, God rest her soul, was by the fire and it was snowing outside. The area is the most beautiful winter outdoor picture next to Tahoe or on campus in Reno. I love the mountains, the fres...

Wrote this awhile ago, probably needed more spin, but this is it for now... I know what I want. I want to be with a tall (or short and makes up for it elsewhere) guy who kisses well, he holds me when im stressed, nervous, or scared. I want a guy who has good smelling cologne and is fit not over the top, but he exercises to stay healthy, and he is a good listener; someone who is intelligent, caring, and isn’t a liar. Someone to get up in the morning with and go on a walk holding hands, staying warm, and getting breakfast together. I’d love to be with a guy who tells me I’m beautiful to my face and means it. I’d love to be with a guy who looks at no one else but me and knows all the little details about me that no one else catches. I want to be with a guy who knows what he wants, he’s funny and he isn’t afraid to be a goofball. I’d love to be with a guy who is different, older (not too much though, let me be the judge), and mature, has a good head on his shoulders, and ...

Watching Wade chase wild turkeys around the parking lot outside of the office today was quite entertaining. He kept calling: “here turkey, here turkey turkey” (insert image of butcher with knife and same quote line and hence why it was amusing.. or maybe I have a sense of humor too much like Robin Williams (FLUBBER moment…) I wanted to know if he was trying see if he could catch them, guaranteed he might get bit on the nose. Turkey hunting, aka turkey day, it’s that time of year where when I was growing up our family would go around the table and say what we were thankful for. The boys would usually say food or ‘er um, family,’ and everyone would go around and say at the current moment what they were giving thanks towards. As the go round reached me, I always liked to have a touching, sappy, rendition of a summation of what meant most to me. While I spoke everyone would yawn, grab food they weren’t supposed to eat, or snicker like hyenas on a sugar high. The whole tradition was a con...