Doesn't Seem Like Too Much To Ask: Living the life with or without

Wrote this awhile ago, probably needed more spin, but this is it for now...

I know what I want. I want to be with a tall (or short and makes up for it elsewhere) guy who kisses well, he holds me when im stressed, nervous, or scared. I want a guy who has good smelling cologne and is fit not over the top, but he exercises to stay healthy, and he is a good listener; someone who is intelligent, caring, and isn’t a liar. Someone to get up in the morning with and go on a walk holding hands, staying warm, and getting breakfast together. I’d love to be with a guy who tells me I’m beautiful to my face and means it. I’d love to be with a guy who looks at no one else but me and knows all the little details about me that no one else catches. I want to be with a guy who knows what he wants, he’s funny and he isn’t afraid to be a goofball. I’d love to be with a guy who is different, older (not too much though, let me be the judge), and mature, has a good head on his shoulders, and he likes sports, is driven and is outdoorsy. I want to be with a guy who can show me a good time and that he drives me stir crazy yet it’s so good for me. I’d love to be with a guy who makes me smile and feel special, as if there’s no one else he’d rather be with than me. Yes, I’d love to be with a guy who isn’t what I expect, but better. I’d love to be with a guy who when its tough, or we get in a fight, he will never let me go. Damn Disney movies, the notebook, and men, the select few men who are wonderful, yet they are all there with that one fantastic woman already, and didn’t waste time. They were sweet and even though they were taken they still loved you like you were their best friend… true that I set high standards, that I’m not easy. I am stubborn, I try too hard, I don’t obey text rules, and I’m sensitive, but I have a really big heart. Yet I know what’s important to me. These high standards may not be met, and never all of them either. It is impossible. There is no such thing as prince charming or a knight in shining armor, because with your guy, when you love him and he loves you, all that fairytale crap doesn’t even matter anymore because what you have in front of you, is all you will ever want and more because of how you feel when you are with them, and that you deserve the best.  That’s what I used to see. I live my life for me and no one else. I like to drink sparkling cider even if it’s 8am in the morning. I want to be able to have angry orchards and blue moons till I die. I want to feel the wind beneath my feet and the waves all around me. Rain or shine, I want to dance till I can’t move anymore and I want to be able to praise God without burning out. Sometimes you do so much and ask for too much so you become completely stretched out and it seems like no one cares at all. For me, I go into a shell, I hide my phone, and I go into hibernation to recharge. I want to be able to tell people I trust things I can’t normally talk about. I roll the window down in my car and sing, and I clean my house right after guests leave. I want to be able to travel and never give up on my independence or my dreams, because I have the power to make them what I want them to be. I want to be with someone who agrees with this and knows me inside and out. I won’t sit by my phone, or try to make your life better, hear your excuses, or be controlled, that’s not how it works. I want to laugh some more, and not be so hard myself, and one day I will you let in, just be patient. I love my family and the Lord and for me these requests, this man it sure doesn’t seem like too much to ask. 

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