Travel, Mia, Sleep Deprived, missing Victor and Chelsea, Xmas
It's crazy how when you see other people's travel photos, and you are intensely envious and jealous because you want to be traveling too and going there or everywhere. I have so many places I want to go and as soon as I have a list I start to create another one. I want to do as much as I can before I settle down. I also though have Mia and that has changed me so much. I love her dearly and she makes me so very happy. I am just all over the place, because now I am having to watch my money (def not a bad thing) just cannot go stir crazy anymore like shopping, eating out, etc.
I learned about how much you have a little five o clock shadow in your life. I really do. She sometimes gives me attitude in the morning and won't eat her food, or want to go on a walk. I cringe when I have to buy the kibble and realize the stupid price went up, but glad I can switch up her food in case that happens. I was gone a whole week and I couldn't believe how much I missed her. It was almost as if she became apart of me, quicker than I even knew. She doesn't like being cold and she snuggles into you if she really likes you. The harness and leash drive her bonkers lol, so she tugs, until I say 'no.' I hate leaving her when I go to work.
I always wonder what it would be like if my company actually had a dog park, or places for our pets, how much happier some of us would be! I guess I am now bias because I am a dog owner. In fact, my siblings even mentioned you weren't part of a conversation of pet owners nor could you contribute much until you get one. And funny thing is, they are right. We have become so stereotypical in our ways and with our pets that we think just because someone doesn't have one, they won't fit into the group. Silly! Or maybe it is the I want a dog person that fits in, still dumb.
You know when you wake up and you have the same recurring dream over and over and you cannot figure out why it is there or what it even means. I have that dream or I have dreams that make no sense. I lay wide awake at night wishing my eyes were closed and I wasn't just thinking and rolling around trying to get comfortable. Some say you need to take melatonin, try eating earlier, whatever. I have a few good nights, then I awaken once more same schedule. Not sure if just stressed and tired, or something is really up, or sore, or what.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my friends Victor and Chelsea. I knew two Victors actually and this time of year I know must be hard on their families. Victor died in his sleep and I used to work with him at the movie theaters. He was a happy, driven, sarcastic guy, who everyone knew and I used to take advice from him, and talk shop. The day I found out, I couldn't hardly stand. How could he have just fallen asleep, the guy wasn't even that old. The other Victor died over seas on active duty and he was a classmate and friend of mine. Chelsea died of congestive heart failure in 2008.
I know these deaths were outside of my control, and that death is apart of life; I just miss them. I miss my grandmother and sometimes shake my fists at the sky asking God why he took them from me, and what did they do to deserve the end. I have never quite grasped the idea of passing, and you want to blame others or blame the Lord, or even yourself. The thing is, you can't. You have to realize it was their time that He intended and that they aren't gone from your heart. Their spirits remain: Chelsea with her smile, and her rattle shaking showing her passion and energy, Victor Green with his fast talking, goofy faces, my grandmother, with her style, her laughter, her strong love, and Victor Dew with his sincerity, charm, and wit.Maybe it is just the season that has me thinking about them and whenever I am with all of my extended family that I hope their relatives feel loved this time of year, and even though the hole is there, that they are healed and renewed with others around them.
Grateful for Nick and so many others service over seas. I am crushed about the valley news and shootings, sad about some news of some of my friends and their lives. My heart splits when I hear people or animals without homes this cold winter. My heart is happy and full for so much else, so an early Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, tis the season all of you and your loved ones, have a blessed time and know you are thought of and loved very much! <3
I learned about how much you have a little five o clock shadow in your life. I really do. She sometimes gives me attitude in the morning and won't eat her food, or want to go on a walk. I cringe when I have to buy the kibble and realize the stupid price went up, but glad I can switch up her food in case that happens. I was gone a whole week and I couldn't believe how much I missed her. It was almost as if she became apart of me, quicker than I even knew. She doesn't like being cold and she snuggles into you if she really likes you. The harness and leash drive her bonkers lol, so she tugs, until I say 'no.' I hate leaving her when I go to work.
I always wonder what it would be like if my company actually had a dog park, or places for our pets, how much happier some of us would be! I guess I am now bias because I am a dog owner. In fact, my siblings even mentioned you weren't part of a conversation of pet owners nor could you contribute much until you get one. And funny thing is, they are right. We have become so stereotypical in our ways and with our pets that we think just because someone doesn't have one, they won't fit into the group. Silly! Or maybe it is the I want a dog person that fits in, still dumb.
You know when you wake up and you have the same recurring dream over and over and you cannot figure out why it is there or what it even means. I have that dream or I have dreams that make no sense. I lay wide awake at night wishing my eyes were closed and I wasn't just thinking and rolling around trying to get comfortable. Some say you need to take melatonin, try eating earlier, whatever. I have a few good nights, then I awaken once more same schedule. Not sure if just stressed and tired, or something is really up, or sore, or what.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my friends Victor and Chelsea. I knew two Victors actually and this time of year I know must be hard on their families. Victor died in his sleep and I used to work with him at the movie theaters. He was a happy, driven, sarcastic guy, who everyone knew and I used to take advice from him, and talk shop. The day I found out, I couldn't hardly stand. How could he have just fallen asleep, the guy wasn't even that old. The other Victor died over seas on active duty and he was a classmate and friend of mine. Chelsea died of congestive heart failure in 2008.
I know these deaths were outside of my control, and that death is apart of life; I just miss them. I miss my grandmother and sometimes shake my fists at the sky asking God why he took them from me, and what did they do to deserve the end. I have never quite grasped the idea of passing, and you want to blame others or blame the Lord, or even yourself. The thing is, you can't. You have to realize it was their time that He intended and that they aren't gone from your heart. Their spirits remain: Chelsea with her smile, and her rattle shaking showing her passion and energy, Victor Green with his fast talking, goofy faces, my grandmother, with her style, her laughter, her strong love, and Victor Dew with his sincerity, charm, and wit.Maybe it is just the season that has me thinking about them and whenever I am with all of my extended family that I hope their relatives feel loved this time of year, and even though the hole is there, that they are healed and renewed with others around them.
Grateful for Nick and so many others service over seas. I am crushed about the valley news and shootings, sad about some news of some of my friends and their lives. My heart splits when I hear people or animals without homes this cold winter. My heart is happy and full for so much else, so an early Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, tis the season all of you and your loved ones, have a blessed time and know you are thought of and loved very much! <3
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