Making an Apartment Home and Ramble Bamble: putting myself at home here as well

I have been so very blessed and lucky to have such great siblings who have listened to me call them constantly while missing home and such. Last weekend, my brother from Costa Mesa and his wonderful girlfriend came out to my place, and pretty much transformed my home. We put up paintings, cleaned odd areas, placed hooks where they needed to be, tables, cords, room lighting and I bought some cute outdoor patio furniture; all made possible with two target runs !They spent quality time with Mia and I, and I treated them to delicious mexican dinner at Jalapeno. I can truly say I have not been easy on myself.

   The transition itself was a lot, but I made it feel like a lot too. I found a great church Rancho Bernardo Presbyterian. I am slowly trying to meet friends. The apartment feels like home now er is starting too so much.I am sleeping better and Mia already senses my feelings and is happy herself. I am learning a ton about myself and others. I find I am so quickly frustrated over seriously silly things when I do not need to be. I also have an over need to be validated and heard. A lot of times the irritation comes from wanting the person to automatically understand me lol and curtail to my immediate needs. So when things were being set up, I had one idea, and the other person had another idea. It was a learning curve ;), but what is life without the lessons we learn, and the ability and joy to continuously be learning; i.e. never stop learning!

    My home feels like home because I am making it home. I realized though, as my best friend pointed out. I am not at home yet in my heart. My man is back in Sacramento and so are all my support networks. How funny that I didn't realize all this, till I stood in church singing a worship song, and tears came. I was at home at church, but not home in my center core, the one that makes up me. I am at cross roads between norcal and here, and piecing things together, to place norcal here where it does not belong. This is so-cal, this is San Diego. This is now home, my brain knows that lol, but my heart will eventually get there, so I am told. I know my heart will always be Norcal, but the present is now, and now is so-cal =home. I am happy at my new apartment with Mia, what will be my progression and new task, is becoming happy with self, with others here, and San Diego as a whole. I apparently have time to work on this :)! Moxie grateful and out to get back to work!




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