Tevye Moment: But Seriously Do you love me?!
Tevye asks Golde a question. If you have ever seen Fiddler on the Roof, or have a love of musicals, this scene is key. "Do you love me? She responds with... "I'm your wife." As you listen to her talk of what love is for them, you notice that their marriage is not one of today's age, but even still, it still rings truth to love. They had an arranged marriage (*spoiler alert*) she explains all that she does for him, and says that must be what love is.
Flash forward and I can imagine an elderly couple is in the grocery story and squabbaling over bananas. Friggin fruit people! He thinks all the brown freckles make a banana taste better and slightly green never hurt anyone and will ripe in time. She thinks less green, and less freckles, slightly more yellow, yet ripe enough to eat quickly. Who eats fruit right away? I don't. Thinking about a scenario like that, I wonder how do you respond, and why does that situation seem so tense?
I recently have spent so much time trying to control those I care about, or I think and expect and want them to be someone of my design. (GAG). The entire idea is ridiculous and absurd. Find someone you mesh with, not someone you would like to correct all the time. The thing is, you're gonna do it. You are going to say things you don't mean, you are going to lash out, but the second you try to fix them, they are gone. In my head I watched him place the fruit in the cart and I was waiting for the woman to chuck them or put them back on the cart, telling him how it is, or for him to be glad he won or that he was right or that he won. I couldn't help it, I wanted to know how this was going to turn out. The fighting wasn't that loud, and the last words I heard, "Why did you marry anyways, if you can't pick out the right food?"
(Google images)
My deepest fear has been rejection, but it is also of walking on eggshells. I did that once. I was a tight rope walker. I walked a thin line, until I could walk no more. The perfectionist sees the faults, and mistakes, and the issues with the person. You suck, clean that up, why are you so late, wow, you look like hell, or that isn't how you do it. You think it's easy, hearing all of this, and you suddenly burst into tears because you can't be that person, who never messes up, never fails. You are you and that is simply the best part. Id love to tell you relationships are all fun and games, but you will throw your phone across the room, you will get frustrated, and long for the simple life, the passion, all the amazing parts of another person without the crap. Wrong. Golde makes a huge profession of love in that scene about how we love despite it all....I have nothing to fear, God loves me, my family does (sometimes lol) we don't need to play this game of what love isn't, we need to love ourselves to be able to give that love back to someone who needs it too~ !
I think the crescendo is this. That other person will love you as you are, or they won't. A friend of mine recently walked away from a relationship truly crippling her heart and still she loves him today. I left one in college of one that I taught the man how to love. I loved how they moved forward with their lives, grew back hearts, and fell in love and all are married, if you can believe it.
*sleeping again* The dream reappeared and he walks down the aisle and he notices she isn't standing in the store anymore, she is in the parking lot, and he races out there and says, "I'm sorry, do you still love me?" She doesn't cry, she says "I, what,... yes... of course I do... "
Man and women learn who is there, when it is taken away, or when they're gone, and it seems like nothing can fix what has happened... or that no one wanted to try, or they gave up, or it just couldn't work... With the echo of 'From now on' Greatest Showman song (one of coming home, returning to what we know) in my head, I realize, if all is gone, what is left, what do I want most? I am left with, it is work, it is hard work... all of it, or none of it. We don't want to fail, we don't want to lose, we don't want to spend our lives correcting someone, we just want to be loved. Tevye, an older man than me, asked what needs to be asked. "Do you love me Golde?"If at the end of the day, with all the ups and downs and the ebbs and flows or the turblence you love them, and they love you... nothing and I mean nothing else matters damnit ; )
Flash forward and I can imagine an elderly couple is in the grocery story and squabbaling over bananas. Friggin fruit people! He thinks all the brown freckles make a banana taste better and slightly green never hurt anyone and will ripe in time. She thinks less green, and less freckles, slightly more yellow, yet ripe enough to eat quickly. Who eats fruit right away? I don't. Thinking about a scenario like that, I wonder how do you respond, and why does that situation seem so tense?
I recently have spent so much time trying to control those I care about, or I think and expect and want them to be someone of my design. (GAG). The entire idea is ridiculous and absurd. Find someone you mesh with, not someone you would like to correct all the time. The thing is, you're gonna do it. You are going to say things you don't mean, you are going to lash out, but the second you try to fix them, they are gone. In my head I watched him place the fruit in the cart and I was waiting for the woman to chuck them or put them back on the cart, telling him how it is, or for him to be glad he won or that he was right or that he won. I couldn't help it, I wanted to know how this was going to turn out. The fighting wasn't that loud, and the last words I heard, "Why did you marry anyways, if you can't pick out the right food?"
(Google images)
I awoke with a start last week, and have struggled to understand. The correlation of Tevye and Golde and this image of a quarreling couple, are realistic, raw, but what you don't see is the end scene. Despite the bickering, or the disagreements, the not so romantic times, this is love. I am making time to learn what love actually is and to reflect. Love is more than loving the idea of love, and the passion and romance it entails. We control, we correct, we belittle, then we lose the value of another, and of commitment. Love is being able to restrain yourself from keeping a record of wrongs, or weaknesses. The ability to see someone as they are in present day and still want to be with them. Love is feeling secure in oneself to be able to give love to another, no shame, no blame, but care. Love is fighting, with healthy conflict, and working toward resolution,
My deepest fear has been rejection, but it is also of walking on eggshells. I did that once. I was a tight rope walker. I walked a thin line, until I could walk no more. The perfectionist sees the faults, and mistakes, and the issues with the person. You suck, clean that up, why are you so late, wow, you look like hell, or that isn't how you do it. You think it's easy, hearing all of this, and you suddenly burst into tears because you can't be that person, who never messes up, never fails. You are you and that is simply the best part. Id love to tell you relationships are all fun and games, but you will throw your phone across the room, you will get frustrated, and long for the simple life, the passion, all the amazing parts of another person without the crap. Wrong. Golde makes a huge profession of love in that scene about how we love despite it all....I have nothing to fear, God loves me, my family does (sometimes lol) we don't need to play this game of what love isn't, we need to love ourselves to be able to give that love back to someone who needs it too~ !
I think the crescendo is this. That other person will love you as you are, or they won't. A friend of mine recently walked away from a relationship truly crippling her heart and still she loves him today. I left one in college of one that I taught the man how to love. I loved how they moved forward with their lives, grew back hearts, and fell in love and all are married, if you can believe it.
*sleeping again* The dream reappeared and he walks down the aisle and he notices she isn't standing in the store anymore, she is in the parking lot, and he races out there and says, "I'm sorry, do you still love me?" She doesn't cry, she says "I, what,... yes... of course I do... "
Man and women learn who is there, when it is taken away, or when they're gone, and it seems like nothing can fix what has happened... or that no one wanted to try, or they gave up, or it just couldn't work... With the echo of 'From now on' Greatest Showman song (one of coming home, returning to what we know) in my head, I realize, if all is gone, what is left, what do I want most? I am left with, it is work, it is hard work... all of it, or none of it. We don't want to fail, we don't want to lose, we don't want to spend our lives correcting someone, we just want to be loved. Tevye, an older man than me, asked what needs to be asked. "Do you love me Golde?"If at the end of the day, with all the ups and downs and the ebbs and flows or the turblence you love them, and they love you... nothing and I mean nothing else matters damnit ; )
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