Getting Somewhere Rather- than thinking always Nowhere, I am getting Somewhere

The moment he or she makes it about themselves not as a team and not for others, but for their own gain is when you can pick up and move on with yourself!  Recognizer yourself improvement holds value and others will see that and want to get in on it. For me, that has been with my friendships and with work. I have really wanted to harness, shutting down those expectations I have of a dream job or what I think I should have or be, or what someone should or shouldn’t do for me.

The best relationship you can have in this life is the one with yourself and to get there, it may mean you let the ones you longed to please or gain, (whoever they may be) go. The reality is they cannot keep you warm at night, and they aren’t in charge of you or your happiness, or who you are as a person. I was scared at first to shed friendships that weren’t working for me, or ashamed, angry, and sad, privy to ones in which they shed themselves and their lives of me. The break from Facebook has been wonderful, and might even continue more time away.  I’m not ashamed of who I am, and I love how far I have come.

Today was such a remarkable day for me. I made such strides at work and for a long time, I did not think or believe I was getting anywhere. I finally reached a mark. I am being trained to do more configuration management training in addition to my already existing data management training. The CM lead contacted me and has signed me up for more training to do for the program I support. I am incredibly nervous, but also am part of a data item submission improvement project for data management and it has me motivated and busy.

I gave up back there last year. I wanted to quit and nothing fit or seemed like it was going anywhere. Maybe, I stick with a job, and a profession and it works for me, but along that route and with everything else going on, I forget that. I forget myself often what I am working toward, not only in my job, but in life. With others opinions, and negativity towards myself and the friendships I have cultivated over time; it circulates and permeates throughout my world and towards others without me even realizing it. When I do realize it, I am exhausted of the topic, and hide or ignore the preexisting condition I myself created!

 I thought it was enough that I had the energy to work hard and that would fit the bill and that my expectations were okay to have whether in friendships or on the job. That was not the answer. Like relationships requiring work, so then does our job require work, and the effort we put in, is what we get out. I had to make a goal, and work at it, fight for it. I am a firecracker, I speak out of turn, and often say rash things in meetings, and am learning to listen more and take more notes.

The more I learn it contributes to my larger effort, which is to get better at what I do at work and to be a friend people seek out rather than run from. I can slowly add to it to my own life in the other areas, such as friendships mentioned here, and improve myself in all areas. The benefit here is that I have the power to change and get better and what happened in today’s job and the results are there. It is happening and I hope it continues, because I am loving that I am putting more attention into my tasks to things that I care about. I forget this often and hope I can remind myself every time I feel like I want to quit! When that lead approached me it felt like a new leaf was being turned and I have a chance to act and keep chipping away at what I want for myself. Now to work on those friendships…too to began instead of Nowhere to train my mind to think and believe. I am getting somewhere… Night readers ; ).