I would do anything for...
..... LOVE and those I care about;
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway."-- Eleanor Roosevelt.
I feel like Melissa Ethridge's song," I wanna come over." The lyrics don't really apply like they did a year ago, because the situation is different, but the music video itself in that car and how she feels, same exact moment. What the hell is the point if you cannot say what you feel and mean it with all you have? Love hard. The whole don't tell is stupid. When I am with someone, I claim them and I mark territory because I want the world to know I chose them, and they aren't anyone elses. It's interesting how someone can silence you, tell you no. You cannot ask someone to care the way you do and how much you do. This doesn't make or yourself a coward. I would be lying if I said this didn't hurt. That heartbreak with a friend is easy. It is not like How I Met Your Mother, or Friends where you can go straight into seeing them again and you're good; I mean unless you are, but for me that isn't reality. If someone expects that of you, it's okay to set them straight. You can only do what you need to do for you. I know a lot of people who are private and to their very core, they are not people to talk about their hearts and personal lives. I am the opposite. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am trying to get better about shutting up (if that is the right way of putting it) but I can't. As much as I want to try and fight, and do everything in the world to hold on, I don't have the power if I am doing this alone. I mean people tell you, you are not alone. Well of course not. I have my friends, my bible gals, the Lord above all and my family. If they have to ignore you and push you away then they were not worth your time. It's crazy how some people are quick to say judgmental things. This time around, it wasn't because I didn't care or they didn't. I feel like dejavu. The love of my life, first love told me once that if you cannot tell people or shout it to the world, then they are not yours and never were, because the one that is, wants you to do all that and more. I want someone who pulls me closer, holds me tightly and doesn't push me away. I am not sure if you can say it is their loss and they are fool, because really sure they are because they aren't enough. It's not that I am not enough. I did nothing wrong, and I am glad to stand here and as I walk, I can say I tried and loved with all I had.
There is something to say about that. It's a decision they made because you weren't right for them maybe, or the time was off. If you were right for them, they'd run to you and never let you go. Does it mean there's a future? I can't predict that and nor will I. This person deserves the world and as do I. Doesn't make them an asshole or heartless. Yeah, I don't need your approval darling, I don't need your instructions, I'm already insecure as it is. The process of letting go doesn't happen overnight and if they expect you to be in top shape because you didn't see one another long, then they clearly don't know the human heart. Everyone's is different. Mine is huge. I sat in the bathtub pretending to be a mermaid last night in a tub built for dwarves and ate gummy bears. I felt like it. I held my dog until I tried to attempt sleep. You want me to hide who I really am, then you do not know me at all. Right now, the choice and decision made in my head hurts like crazy because I wanted to try and I wished that someone was me. I think I am allowed that. Moxie signing off to look for donuts.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway."-- Eleanor Roosevelt.
I feel like Melissa Ethridge's song," I wanna come over." The lyrics don't really apply like they did a year ago, because the situation is different, but the music video itself in that car and how she feels, same exact moment. What the hell is the point if you cannot say what you feel and mean it with all you have? Love hard. The whole don't tell is stupid. When I am with someone, I claim them and I mark territory because I want the world to know I chose them, and they aren't anyone elses. It's interesting how someone can silence you, tell you no. You cannot ask someone to care the way you do and how much you do. This doesn't make or yourself a coward. I would be lying if I said this didn't hurt. That heartbreak with a friend is easy. It is not like How I Met Your Mother, or Friends where you can go straight into seeing them again and you're good; I mean unless you are, but for me that isn't reality. If someone expects that of you, it's okay to set them straight. You can only do what you need to do for you. I know a lot of people who are private and to their very core, they are not people to talk about their hearts and personal lives. I am the opposite. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am trying to get better about shutting up (if that is the right way of putting it) but I can't. As much as I want to try and fight, and do everything in the world to hold on, I don't have the power if I am doing this alone. I mean people tell you, you are not alone. Well of course not. I have my friends, my bible gals, the Lord above all and my family. If they have to ignore you and push you away then they were not worth your time. It's crazy how some people are quick to say judgmental things. This time around, it wasn't because I didn't care or they didn't. I feel like dejavu. The love of my life, first love told me once that if you cannot tell people or shout it to the world, then they are not yours and never were, because the one that is, wants you to do all that and more. I want someone who pulls me closer, holds me tightly and doesn't push me away. I am not sure if you can say it is their loss and they are fool, because really sure they are because they aren't enough. It's not that I am not enough. I did nothing wrong, and I am glad to stand here and as I walk, I can say I tried and loved with all I had.
There is something to say about that. It's a decision they made because you weren't right for them maybe, or the time was off. If you were right for them, they'd run to you and never let you go. Does it mean there's a future? I can't predict that and nor will I. This person deserves the world and as do I. Doesn't make them an asshole or heartless. Yeah, I don't need your approval darling, I don't need your instructions, I'm already insecure as it is. The process of letting go doesn't happen overnight and if they expect you to be in top shape because you didn't see one another long, then they clearly don't know the human heart. Everyone's is different. Mine is huge. I sat in the bathtub pretending to be a mermaid last night in a tub built for dwarves and ate gummy bears. I felt like it. I held my dog until I tried to attempt sleep. You want me to hide who I really am, then you do not know me at all. Right now, the choice and decision made in my head hurts like crazy because I wanted to try and I wished that someone was me. I think I am allowed that. Moxie signing off to look for donuts.
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