Mind and its matters: life, heart and all those crazy things

On Monday, June 3, 2013, margo vigeantwrote:

Matters of the heart are always temperamental and fragile. Worst part is, if they leave you in the dust and don’t fight for you, it’s almost as if you collapse inside and your hope is gone. Maybe I was careless, and didn’t look before I jumped. No one ever has a parachute when they like someone especially if your own friend protects another person instead of you; shows you that maybe your friendship had no strength in the beginning if the only person they believe is the one person who’s throwing underneath a bus and not taking responsibility for their side. Try this on for size. It’s going to happen. You will fight with people you care about, you will get stressed out and lash out when you don’t intend to. Things won’t go as their supposed to, but the key is going on, when all seems incredibly lost. I find it to be hard when a person tells you they don’t want to hear any of ‘your stuff’ (as they put it) but when they launch into all theirs and want you to listen and not judge them for what they do, it’s confusing. You make sure to shut up and quit talking and making it less and less about balance, sharing each other’s pains and weaknesses. That doesn’t seem right. Friends love at all times, even when they need time to think. I am one who hates to go to bed angry, and I also feel better with a resolution that benefits both. Sooner or later, you combust from the silence and if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Self-acceptance before being with someone else is important. I don’t know if anyone else does this, but whenever you have a crush or like someone, the hope is there and your perceptions are magnified. The toughest part is remaining quiet when you are excited about someone or something, or they mention someone too and maybe you can’t say because you think it won’t turn out. If it doesn’t go well, and you keep re-aligning yourself every time they come back into your life, all smiles, all glory, and you feel stuck. Blaise Pascal says, “The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.”  (Insert Jana Kramer’s Why ya wanna? Song). That person just invited you to lunch or a movie and those feelings start coming back. They send a text and make you laugh and the thought arises, see they do like me, or maybe, no maybe, but possibly. Drama. It’s hilarious we try escape it, and prevent it by telling others not to have it, when it’s there. Someone brings up a woe, and you respond with a positive so they feed off your response, and feel better. Married and attached (in a relationship) folks don’t have to experience the awkwardness and ups and downs of dating or single life. If anything they say, he/she was my first, or hmm never had that problem, or gosh I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this. Not to put a kick me sign on the subject, but all of this part of one’s life really isn’t a picnic. Its mind and it’s matters. One day you believe hope, the next you could be bitter and hypocritical or altogether just not care. Some women (me included) worry about what they think, whether or not you saying or doing the right things. After all of this thinking, it’s enough to give a person an emotional whiplash rather than a physical one. EXHAUSTING. Of course, we don’t want to feel this way, but life isn’t fair. If it were, idiots wouldn’t be in office, and the war wouldn’t exist, and we’d all be peachy happy, nothing to fight over. BUT, it’s not. Life is about falling and getting back up, it’s about failing, and then succeeding. If Edison took a while to get light started, and Einstein didn’t pass courses, or got it right the first time, I think we can deduct we won’t get it right the first time or for a while either! Time heals all wounds and everything will work out the way it’s supposed to when it’s supposed; hmm now I just have to tell myself that!