Law of influence, that onething, deep thoughts- Monday writing

Some say that most men don't have feelings. That is a huge lie. I know this because I know that saying nice guys finish last. Some of my guy friends tell me how they won their lady over, and how they still even today think they aren't deserving enough for her. Adorable. Simply Adorable and ridiculous because I think that they most certainly do. Bring us flowers, rub our feet, tell us we look great when we really look like hell, or let us rant and yell about nothing in particular. I would go with keeper. I am someone who is way too damn nice and don't like to be mad at anyone. In fact if I ever am, I usually apologize within ten seconds or five minutes. I can't bear to anger anyone, but I do get angry.
I put my faith in people who don't give a damn or they  are mad they don't get their way, so it's a girl who wants to control the parameters of what I believe, a guy cause he wants a relationship based on sex and doesn't want to work for it. Ha or he is a misogynist (thanks sis for the word) Dude. Newsflash. You want great sex, get your butt in gear, and show her she matters. As for the girl friendship, I guess I can't really talk because friendships have been quite the battle for me lately. Life should be at ease and lived happily. I will admit over the past month, no scratch that, the last year, I have been truly miserable. I cannot let this whole being single deal get me down to the point where I choose complete d bags to be around!

 I was in tears this am and didn't need to be. I love that I can be there for someone and I don't set out to make a mess (usually). When I was teaching on Sunday, one of the girls just hugged me, for no reason at all. It filled a hole I had, and a tiny void that I often let grow inside my soul. I can and will set some serious boundaries for not only myself but with others. I know I have made a lot of mistakes and was embarrassed to even share that I had fallen again, but I shouldn't be. So I messed up, but my faucet that was leaking is now fixed, and that darn picture I needed fixed and hung up is up. I refuse to believe I am a problem just because of my mistakes or that I am suddenly frowned upon because I cared about someone who is an arse. People lecture because they care. I lecture because I care, and then I talk about it to overcome it. As Beth Moore said, " part of maturing is ceasing to equate the hard with the bad." Also, the law of influence is " your influence is determined by how abundtly you place other people's interests first. My family is actually pretty good about that as are most friends, super refreshing and comforting especially when you know you have a tough time bringing stuff up and they do accept you even if they scold you just a little lol.

Hey you know never know, maybe my guy is waiting in Ireland... until next time, Monday nite signing off to wind down.

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