Sustaining battle scars, being true to myself, and new biking experiences

I recently took up cycling and have signed up for May is Bike Month and have started riding into work. My dad diligently and lovingly worked to get an old bike of his tuned up for my use and brought it over last week. I discovered I live right near a really neat bike trail with the American river which takes me 15 mn ride to get into work and is an easy commute. I bought a bike backpack, tail light, and a friend supplied me with a headlight to ride in the dark. I had my first big girl crash yesterday and slammed head on into a fence, scraped up my left knee, a bit on left shoulder and some stomach (tummy cleared up quickly). Thank God for fence barriers or helmets, God’s grace and protection, or I would be dead. I pledged to do 100 miles for the month of May and have been also still continuing to go to the gym to keep weight lifting going.

  The injuries a couple years back, would have had me on the side, probably crying, or quitting the ride and walking home. I finished the 12 mile ride we did, and cleaned the wounds. Looking at the today, I am so glad it was nothing more than what I got! No bike quitting here. I wish I had known about this opportunity to ride with this trail sooner! What a great way to get outside, get in shape, and even compete on a team with friends.

 Lately this week has been sort of a change at work. Our IT group sent as an announcement to remove Google Chrome from our databases and work computers entirely, saying it’s no longer approved for use and that means no more Gmail use or email period and faster browser. It was such frustrating news and they are holding off on letting us use Internet Explorer 11, which a lot of us will need to do our jobs. Today, our director tried to get them to keep it and also to add Firefox

 

 a tough endeavor, so who knows. I trust God has a plan, but that just seemed like a lot, and I was already overthinking other things on my mind and wanted to go home but had late submittals come in. They removed Jabber chat off my desktop too, and the work has been up and down, which for my personality can get a little agitating at times. I am learning to pray about it, and try to remain calm and go work out if I feel irritated or stressed, upset or anything.

Staying true to my personal growth, I am trying to work on positive all around and affirmations to myself. I am truly someone who overthinks something especially when I am worried about it and I have in the past wrongly controlled others which has intensely ruined friendships. I humbly admit this, but also am not proud of it. I am glad I recognize it, and willing to work on it. I think a lot of people are right; you cannot take something back once it is said or done, you can only better yourself for next time. At the same time though, I am also standing my ground and refuse to be disrespected or treated in such a way of a doormat or someone who isn’t deserving of being treated well. I can hold my own, but it is frustrating to still deal with what appears to me as childish behavior of blocking someone on social media or phone. I get it’s a lack of trust thing, or a helpful tool for people; I guess that’s just not how I operate. Chatty Kathy here, forgive me if you will, but I talk it out lol or fight it out on the gym floor.

The other day, I was play hitting a friend at a bar, and didn’t realize it bothered them until they told me. I was raised with play fighting and teasing, and had no idea some people didn’t have that and there is a boundary. Learning a lot, and definitely apologized to their face. Made it seem more personal and real and also showed me, that I can change. Hey, started biking, going crazy, doing things, and survived so far, so maybe this red color is working for me?! Lol, until next time.