Margo's got Moxie ! : the diary of miss red high heels

2013 res As 2013 comes to a close, I wanted to reflect on all that has happened, but at this time, I slide into the end zone exhausted and out of bounds. This year has been challenging, eye opening, and remarkable in many ways. I came across a church that welcomed me in its place at a moment when I most needed a community! fair oaks presby brought me a bible study group of ladies and joy. i got in a car accident in feb, same month went sky diving, winery hopping, and later all different things. Thisyear was a rough one for my family and we hope and pray next year brings good tidings and memories; may the storm be over for us all, but help us see how much it makes us stronger and grateful of what we have done to make it through as a family, love each other no matter what. There were other good things though, max and james played well for water polo and working away at school, James will graduate in May and Paul from law school. For me this year has brought lessons and much learning in ...

My eyes turn green when I cry..... Some say it's a pretty color, but still some tell me they would rather they saw my brown eyed sparkle :). I wonder what makes a sparkle, or a joy that a person can have; even if they lose a sporting event, or have a rough day,  lose something important, are made fun of, hurt, or filled with anger, the joy makes its way to our central being. Maybe it's the fake-it-till-you-make-it factor; of if you just pretend you are happy you will be. (actually works believe me! even if smiling through the tears or on the verge of yelling, or whatever you are feeling). Nothing is as bad as it really seems, well it is at the time, I am certain. I think it could be the romantic in me or the hope, where in the movie the guy or girl races to beat time or a change in fate to try to get to their person in time, to tell them how much they love them them; my latest, was when Jackson Avery from Grey's Anatomy (spoiler alert!) stood up at April Kepner's weddin...

I live in a town that isn’t too big, or too small, it’s quaint. When I was in college and attended school in Reno, the place was called: “Biggest Little City In the World.” The place seemed like a city with all the lights, casinos, noise, smells, and lots of people everywhere. I could smell disgusting Mc Donalds, then pass a bakery and a coffee shop and smell delicious warm baked goods and roasted coffee beans. I would see everything from blinking lights, to streakers, to homeless people with carts, and weird outfits, or drunkards staggering the walkways. Reno was entertaining, there was never a dull moment, and I loved it especially when it snowed, all around campus, and once you stepped away from the streets, the school itself was tucked back from downtown a bit, so I didn’t feel too overwhelmed. At times, even now, I miss that place. Although I have come to discover I am not a city girl at all, even if Reno isn’t a city really. I always dreamt of living in New York with th...

Weather gets colder, jingle bells are ringing, Christmas music all over the stores, and everyone wants to have the yule tide cheer. Silly but every year I want one thing, no clothes, no trips, not food, or money, or any present a person can have, I want for each person to get a special wish it may not come right away, but I pray they are happy in some way shape or form, to realize that a gift is not going to be the solution it's the people and where you are at. For myself this year alone, I have my own place, and I am working very hard at Aerojet and the year has been incredible, crazy, terrible, wonderful, and a gift this time around. Christmas fast approaching, I feel one thing, I want my family and friends around me and eat a bunch of food and enjoy one another. The greatest gift we can ask for is Christ's gift to us to live and breathe as we do. Cheesy as this might sound, it's a gift that lasts, and it's love. All I want for Christmas is you. I would like it everyw...

You know what really is disconcerting, is expecting someone to understand who you are and as the saying goes: "be unapologetically yourself." I can't apologize for thinking, feeling, saying, breathing, or anything, but for some reason i always do. I fear what people think, and what will come out of it and how I will be judged and one day i wont care so much, I will not berate myself for mistakes Ive made or for someone else who doesnt understand me or appreciate who iam. I have two awesome brothers who when everything seems awash they remind me Im worth it. Sitting in the hot tub at a hotel that looks like an italian villa, the other nite, a random firework went off in the sky, max and I looked up and I felt better. It was a gold light of sparks and incredibly surprising. I am so anxious and at times cannot help what I feel. When I miss people I really miss them, no question. When I care I really care, and its funny when you dont expect something terrible to happen or if ...

Workaholic: My career/school comes first I have heard it said before, that when people put their job over their home life or their well-being they can get burned. Sure it’s nice to have a sweet paycheck that goes up, and a boss nod or recommendation or promotion, but is it really super awesome when the people you love, don’t get to see you ? I can’t launch into my opinion without providing my own scope at work. I want to be able to be a level three data manager and it would be incredibly cool to be able to travel, write for Google and lead a team, but that’s a lot to ask for someone who has only been here a year. Try taking a red eye flight, juggling a laptop and a conference call, with a beeper in hand for emergencies (over dramatized version, but pretty close), and then it becomes clear. Deadline for tests or project comes up, say goodbye to social life, sleep, and normal until said studying or project is finished. People claim they love the constant go and non-stop hit the ground...

Someone once told me that if something happens to you or about you, or near you, write about it. I started a normal everyday workday with the whole mindset that I would get some work done and then head to the gym. Everything was going quite well till 3pm rolled around. A coworker stopped by to talk to me about last weekend. The guy inadvertently sat on my desk.....okay granted it would be like leaning against a structure, but still major annoying and I have a chair for a reason in my office. He chatted away and then all of a sudden the desk came off it's hinges and out flew two heavy computer monitors, a phone and its jacks and headset, a large printer and the desk shelf itself... it happened so fast I didn't have time to pull back. The whole set of it landed on my right foot. I went oh shiz... yes I managed a non cuss word.... miracle people... miracle. bit my fist and groaned in pain. I looked down and it was purple! The loud thud caused my office mate to come over and then o...

The winds of change: old memories flood in, but new ones are made A memory is a moment where time seems to go too quickly, and you hold on to every second as if you never want to let go.Imagine being in a time machine directing your travel to these precious spells of joy. I remember I was on the swim team and I would get up at the crack of dawn to go to practice and during winter and fall seasons of swim team. It was freezing, even bundled in a parka and sweat pants over my suit. I used to loathe getting up and then after practice I would only wash my air so the chlorine smelt strong and clung to my skin as if I was a mermaid with scales. Those days I called all of teammates my family, since we were together almost all the time. Shifting to the mountains and cabin of Lakemont Pines, where my grandma, God rest her soul, was by the fire and it was snowing outside. The area is the most beautiful winter outdoor picture next to Tahoe or on campus in Reno. I love the mountains, the fres...

Wrote this awhile ago, probably needed more spin, but this is it for now... I know what I want. I want to be with a tall (or short and makes up for it elsewhere) guy who kisses well, he holds me when im stressed, nervous, or scared. I want a guy who has good smelling cologne and is fit not over the top, but he exercises to stay healthy, and he is a good listener; someone who is intelligent, caring, and isn’t a liar. Someone to get up in the morning with and go on a walk holding hands, staying warm, and getting breakfast together. I’d love to be with a guy who tells me I’m beautiful to my face and means it. I’d love to be with a guy who looks at no one else but me and knows all the little details about me that no one else catches. I want to be with a guy who knows what he wants, he’s funny and he isn’t afraid to be a goofball. I’d love to be with a guy who is different, older (not too much though, let me be the judge), and mature, has a good head on his shoulders, and ...

Watching Wade chase wild turkeys around the parking lot outside of the office today was quite entertaining. He kept calling: “here turkey, here turkey turkey” (insert image of butcher with knife and same quote line and hence why it was amusing.. or maybe I have a sense of humor too much like Robin Williams (FLUBBER moment…) I wanted to know if he was trying see if he could catch them, guaranteed he might get bit on the nose. Turkey hunting, aka turkey day, it’s that time of year where when I was growing up our family would go around the table and say what we were thankful for. The boys would usually say food or ‘er um, family,’ and everyone would go around and say at the current moment what they were giving thanks towards. As the go round reached me, I always liked to have a touching, sappy, rendition of a summation of what meant most to me. While I spoke everyone would yawn, grab food they weren’t supposed to eat, or snicker like hyenas on a sugar high. The whole tradition was a con...

Monday thru Friday 5 days a week, put your time in, head down, keep going. No one tells you how good you are, how much you are appreciated, that you are such a great worker; sure they did that when you were eight and picked up the supplies after craft time at school. Now it’s: did you get that done? I need this by 5, can you come in this weekend, etc. You enter a job and it’s like Christmas morning everything is brand new, most employees are welcoming and you know you got a good deal. Coworkers or customers give you praises and your boss gives you a raise, life is good. You have it made, some of you are putting away to 401k, the paycheck comes in, and it’s not $0 dollars, you get to decorate your office, or find new outfits to wear; you are set. Other days you come home and you cannot wait to have a glass of something that is strong or take nap, or maybe just tune out for five minutes. The first thing you want to say could be “ what the hell was I thinking?” I must be crazy, this job...

I read that in a Luke Skywalker kind of voice. There's a moment in the movie where Yoda tells him he's well.... reckless. Yes, I am one of those people, nerds if you wish. Picture the green guy telling you this after you did something incredibly stupid or showed off like Johnny Bravo; seriously doesn't it scare the crap out of you? Luke is arrogant and impatient. As a jedi trainee he is a time bomb waiting to explode, but he's just what every trainer needs. Okay, so really he's tame compared to Han Solo who would really like to drive Jabba the Hut nuts. Or how about Maverick from Top Gun? Mav does the oh- so-awesome circus stunt fly-bys that make you wish you were there just to see the air controller's face as the coffee spills all over him! I think there is something sweet about being off the wall, and no i don't mean stay up past your bedtime and eat junk food. I mean the kind that gets your blood running as if you jumped out of an airplane or you kissed t...

When you work a full time job, the words ‘paycheck and payroll’ are music to your ears. This means you will have money in the bank and the bills get paid. Soon it’s not just bills; it’s a house mortgage, a child, car expenses, media expenses, social life expenses, insurance expenses, credit card expenses, which turns into a long trailing list of dues. The paycheck rolls in and it isn’t the golden ticket of joy you had when you got your first paycheck at your first job. For some it’s the thread holding everything together, or a chance for maybe a new pair of shoes (since your current ones are past the stage of acceptable). The check rolls in in waves, depending on when a company sends out ones paycheck. I receive mine every other week. I used to babysit when I was 12 and receiving green currency from a family was rewarding, but not as valuable. I would take the money earned and suddenly I was Paris Hilton or Donald Trump spending that money quicker than pitcher throws a fastball; it wo...

Sitting for hours at a computer doesn't help your health or your sanity. Looking at all of those photos, stories, messages, posts, games, jokes, drama, etc consumes a person. I know because I felt I put myself into a social media turntable that was like a vaccuum sucking your energy away. Now for what it is worth, facebook has revolutionized itself into an enterprise where twitter, instagram, and pinterest have developed in order to create a local and national community. Anyone can talk to another person and connect with them on the internet within seconds and now today via voice activation or the click of a button, texting from a cellular phone. Social media is enticing, it appeals to our sense of freedom, our sense of joy, the ability to share, personalize, and attract attention. I like to think of this website as the glitter of its age; sparkly, up -to-date, appealing, clever, but also very addicting. The internet is a tool where an individual can be so self absorbed, sort of li...

Okay, if you haven’t seen Little Shop of Horrors disregard phrase above. I love eating out. No scratch that, I like eating period! I don’t have to do the dishes when I go out or prep anything, just be and enjoy the atmosphere and smells. Although, when I am home or it’s a long day at work, oh it’s snack time, fruit, nuts, bars. I am queen cranky when I haven’t had a single thing in my tummy for hours, or if I forget my lunch. I love coconut bars, the bad-for-you-pasta and chicken wings.   I cook a lot, and I like to entertain. I cannot blame pinterest, or cookbooks, nope it’s pictures of food, or strolling the aisles in the grocery store. Shame on me for shopping on an empty stomach, oh never fails.   If I share my food, I make way too much, so it’ either left overs or more to share again. I take pictures of the food I make, or things I go to eat; take great pride and joy in sharing the beauty of food and it’s preparation too. Recently, I started this bible st...

  Fiona from the hit tv show Burn Notice is most certainly my alter ego. She wastes no time on making sure she blasts the complete crap out of anyone especially her boyfriend Michael, if he’s being an idiot. She is headstrong, knows a lot about guns, doesn’t take no for an answer, she’s in shape, brave, and a total badass. Whenever I watch this show, or Xeva from NCIS, it’s the perfect anecdote to pretend for a moment I am that woman. I am the direct opposite. I am very kind, I care what people think, I work out like a maniac, I have a sharp tongue, and a compassionate heart. Fiona is my alter ego, but I sincerely want to be strong as she is all the time, that way I could stop thinking so much. To stop thinking of him, to stop thinking of work, or whether or not I should go to this place, or whether or not this person likes my outfit, or if I have plans this weekend. Fi isn’t hard on herself, she does what she can, and when she can’t she lets someone else take the...

I said it wouldn’t write about my personal dating life or what it’s like to be solo mio, but after watching a romantic comedy to polish off my Saturday night, I couldn’t hold it in. The story was about how a woman who dreamed of writing for a professional magazine (side note I had a dream of my own to work for the New York Times, or be a TV host) had a precise checklist and she wanted to find the perfect match. Her problem? She was single, jobless, and searching for direction. <Sure, sure, insert, cheesy line of: and she falls in love, we’ve heard this before> crap and the acting in this movie is terrible, no it’s awful; ignore all of the fluff and I think these writers were on to something and I think I actually believed it. The film hardly touched on what it was like to date as a single girl in the twenty first century, in fact the movie made it seem all too easy to find eligible, handsome, intelligent, driven, (I could go on, but you get the point) men. Well, ...

In the working world, or at least in the office cubicle world, some of us go to meetings and in those meetings there is some great joy to it. Sorry, no not the speaker, or the presentation, or the guy with B.O who figured no one would notice he never takes a shower, no it's the goodies out on the table that your company budget allows every once in awhile. Of course you have seen those Special K commericials where they tell you switch the snack for a healthy one. But then your hunger mind kicks in...or maybe that's just me. It's not even 10am, and yes you had cereal this morning, you know the kind that has whole grains and tastes so bland you add a little sweetness just to kill the plain and boring. Lo and behold it's a  raspberry pastry and it sure does look good from where you are sitting. I mean come on, it's just one breakfast item, how bad could it be? Well imagine, temptation for hunger in comparison to a heat wave. There is nothing stopping you from finding a ...

On my friday off from work, yes it was. I arrived at FOPC church at 8am dressed in grubbies as I call them aka yard work clothes. A woman told us where tofind rakes, shovels and gloves and trash cans to fill up all the debri and leaves. I got down on all fours and started scraping out the grime from the sidewalk and parking lot. Its amazing how dirty a space can become over time. I really figured who cares its just a parking lot, no one is going to even need this cleaned anyways. Apparently I had talked out loud( not uncommon) and another worker asked me why we were here? I wanted to be a super smartalic and add why do ya think dumbo? Instead, I told them this. Community Serve was a church led series teaching people about acts of services to the community but also to God through channels such as family, work, relationships, homes, and life overall. Our pastor asked everyone, what kind of environment do you want to create and make to demonstrate faith as God sees it. An idea of a restau...

I’m sexy and I know it:  Knight in Shining Armor  vs.  Squire in Tin Foil (If you are easily offended and do not enjoy sarcasm, please don’t read, but if you do, please note: comments made here are not directed towards any individual.)  In medieval times ,  the knight was considered the macho h ero and his little  squire  was a silent,  scrawny looking boy  who held  his jousting  stick and tended  to his horses. History isn’ t a  Sports I llustrated  magazine, but it didn’t’ hesitate to point out, here’s the male complex regarding status and appearance. Napolean? Yes, he was a very short leader, with a proclivity of being truly arrogant. Abe Lincoln? Honest Abe was a tall president who was quite skinny, but managed to save a terrible onslaught of slavery with the help of the ever powerful preacher Martin Luther. I am sure I could probably mention plenty of other men in history, who this superiority implies. Howev...