Margo's got Moxie ! : the diary of miss red high heels

A note to my "its not meant to be" men. Name changes for safety and protection. Sensitive data but from the heart. The  first few men in my life besides my brothers who I never knew could make me feel like I did were several guys. I have to write this down because although they aren't present anymore in my life but are still very much great guys. A. Long  from high school, you played the trumpet and were just about the goofiest guy ever who liked many women but found one who prompted you to love. David you knew how to make a girl laugh even if it meant standing on your head to do it! You were off the wall and made sure people knew. Babes! sweet, very friendly and sociable and Mike Reynolds welcomed me in Student Gov with so much energy and love who wouldn't be attracted to swimmers and water polo players with hearts. 316 you are my sisters bff and I had the biggest crush on you. I didn't tell Jackie until later but when I did she laughed so much she choked lol. Sh...

I have ten sisters... no actually, I might have more than that. When you hear that you think, are you blind, you have one.. she is your blood sister your opposite, your best friend... member her... What if He gave you ten more..in the form of a bible study group and said to you... these are your sisters in faith... your sisters in soul and on this journey? Sure, right dude, whatever, you are nuts. No, but seriously, listen. I have ten sisters and I see them every Thursday. All of them are my bible study gal pals I have connected with and really got to know. If any of you know me, like really know me, I struggle with weaknesses like anyone else and when I feel it whatever it is, I feel it like the deflector shield is on the burn sequence, a strong feeling. My sisters gave me a place to belong. When I was growing up I wanted to be everyone else but me. If I was me, that meant I had the right to feel and that with Him I would be loved no matter what. My sisters are ten different strong, b...

Over the past several months, since these people (a couple) moved downstairs from who knows maybe Mars, ok fine, Santa Cruz it looks like, I have had a tough time trying to get to sleep with all of their racket. Granted, I get up at the buzz crack of dawn to start my day, so for most people that is awfully early. When my old neighbor was here, she never was around, always traveling, but when she was home, I tried to be very quiet. With these folks, the war was on. They kept me up into the wee hours of the night with their loud you know what, and so I maybe decided it was my turn to cause a ruckus.... dumb idea. There was a rocket launch last week, Orion, and it was scheduled for 4am Pacific time, so on both days (first was delayed due to wind valve issue and such) I got up early and may or may not have been rowdy and excited for this launch... clapping, a whoop or two. Okay, okay, not cool since those guys probably don't get up till what 9am? Anyhow, I got the payback. Oh yes, I ...

I do not like gated communities. They are pointless personally. No offense to those who live there, but do you really feel safe? What is the point of gate codes, and fences with sliding mechanisms, and key code entry, or voice activated passwords, or phone calls needed to be made if that other side of the wall, is unsafe already? Before you go thinking I broke into one, let's demonstrate the facts. The gate serves a purpose to intentionally hold up security for homes and for its dwellers who inhabit such areas. Is it because people live in fear of murder, robbery, or maybe even homeless people? How then do you explain that car theft is reported (studies show, just google it) that gated areas still have a high rank for theft even care theft. The car of a guest visiting someone in a gated community gets stolen from. Now wouldn't this be eerie, if not only a resident residing in that community could potentially have access to an entire group of people and alarm systems on any sugg...

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a nurse. I wanted to help people, save lives, make a difference in a hospital or maybe even be a veterinarian. Flashback. High school math class. I was never good at math. Actually, I hate math and always have. I struggled through all of my math classes and could not wait to leave and finish all of my requirements for mathematics required for whatever major I chose. Hence, why English was so wonderful, it didn't have an equation. Math made me feel like failure and science wasn't that interesting enough for passion either. I would cost on through with the pass grades, but then realized I would never get to med school with a C- in Pre-Calculus. I thought hospitals were glamorous. You had the babies, the doctors, the final destination, did they make it, will they live, does this work, game over, but is it really, the so much caffeine I've been working 72 hours look with an I must have no life, will they forgive me if I screw this ...

I have exactly what I need just right here now if I could just remember what it was I needed I could get going. Yes, believe it or not I don't quite remember what I was searching for. Could it be my wallet? Could it be my book or my pen, or my shoes? Or maybe my phone or my car keys? All practical things I think. Maybe I am looking fod my coat, my watch, or my hat? Could it be earrings or a locket or my laptop perhaps? All materials things, that I may be okay without if I really tried. Did I lose my grandmother's pearls, my diary, or my photos, or even my diploma? All special, personal things. Again, maybe I am certain those if lost Id be okay without. Did I lose my mind or, my paperwork, my project, my job, the map, my way, my sanity or my ticket? Everyday things I could lose again and again. Now what is it what did I lose? Have I lost interest, my heart, my soul, control, reasoning, concentration, or substance, human emotion perhaps? These things this grow this change those p...

Saturday nite I had one coors light at 7pm at a costume party thats it. I drank water the rest of the time, and didnt say my goodbyes until I stayed three hours to make sure I was good. I left the party at 10pm. I turned on my lights and my gps to go. got out to a street and a police car followed me for one stop light and a half and I pulled over. I was incredibly frightened and had taken my heeled boots off to drive the vehicle without ruining the carpet upholstery below. He was really forceful with me and assumed I was drunk asking for my registration and license and whether Id been arrested or received a dui before and asked how much I had to drink. I had pulled my hair down and had taken my wig off right before leaving the event. I explained with a direct answer, I had one beer and he asked what kind I said coors light. he told me my lights werent on correctly and asked me tostep out of the car. I stood on the sidewalk in front of him in my socks because I stupidly forgot flats and...

Yes, people after much deciding all day long, I had to pick a name for my next personal car. For those of you who dont know, this am I bought a 2005 Honda Civic on craigslist. I was sooo nervous! I had seen the ad the day before and had only looked at a prius and 25ish other ads online. I literally pored over those enteries and looked at kellys blue book which is a website that market values cars for what they should be sold at. Thanks to the guys at work, my dad, and prayers, I found a killer deal in three days! The seller was a woman who goes to Sac State and she was super nice. She showed up and I felt like I was going to have to be quiet let my father do the negotiations and just hang around till I figured it out. He told me to make it happen and for a moment I stared back at him, like "huh, oh wow you're serious, it's showtime" kind of look. He assured me it was okay to be nervous and that go with your gut, 'dont like it, don't buy it.' I drove that c...

Ever have those moments where maybe it is super embarrassing to tell just about anyone what happened to you, or let's just say the moment you're in, could be a whole lot worse? I have had quite a few and all I want my friend to do, is : not ask any and I mean any questions! Sometimes it's a sticky situation and you have absolutely no idea how you got into it, but you want out right away. Or, it's that oh-so-awkward I did this, and let's not talk about it. Oh, you mean the time you shat your pants, or got stuck in a ballet tutu or a dress that you ripped in a department store dressing room, the time you got your head stuck in a bicycle rack at a movie theater? (shhh we weren't supposed to talk about that, that stays in house). I have had a series of my own crazy times of no questions asked. Let's just say the remain a mystery to those who don't need to know it, and those that do know, have been sworn to never mention it again, or I could just spontaneousl...

Some women like to shop, the material kind of course. Id say I am not that girl. I get nostalgia from the feel and smell of a new book and fresh food. If they are together, it's a miracle! I love the way bakery bread smells, or how delicious a coho or sockeye wild salmon looks in the seafood area. I can even go to a farmers market and find homemade jam and steal five samples, when you of course are only allowed one. The books are opening a window for fresh air and the food is like eating in a dining room you aren't supposed to use, its wicked and wonderful all at once. I food shop all different places and when I really want organic and still scrumptious, its always trader joes. Oh that joe sure has good food. I go into a book store and don't emerge for hours, finally agreeing the purchase of one book never hurt anyone convincing myself happily that even though it may be read and enjoyed quicker than I bargain. Samples! Oh samples, Ill eat them as I am walking around the tas...

California Drivers like any other drivers are well they are self absorbed, slow, distracted, rude, aggressive, or downright annoying. Okay who am I to drop a complaint down when I am not the best driver either. Wait a minute. After learning the hard way, its almost like its a lesson and or a warning to me that I can't text and drive, or look at something other than the road. People, if you are driving in a Walmart parking lot and the speed limit is 5, it's not Nascar, people are walking there. Slow down!                                                                                ...

I am on the go during the week, manage to eat from tupper ware, off the counter, grab a bar, or eat out and grab to go in a bag, quickly scarf and suddenly feel rushed once more. Often the food either sits well or it doesn't last in my stomach if I wolf it down so fast I hardly remember if I had anything. On the weekends, I like to eat on the couch, or stand in the kitchen munching. I keep forgetting how much of an enjoyment it is at the end of the day to eat at the table whether alone or amongst family and friends, it's pleasant. The food actually goes down well and even when a meal is cooked you have left overs and you don't feel like you have paid a fortune to get your nutrition or daily intake. I know I wrote about this before, but I want to say so again, what a joy it is! I often eat while I work, and it takes the break right out of the day all too quickly. When I get an opening, some days I go to the café with coworkers and get away from the desk. I end up feeling muc...

From infancy, parents, teachers, and colleagues show us how to behave and show us what we can and cannot do. There are certain behaviors, actions that are not appropriate, or just wrong. Christianity, the foreground of forgiveness and a second chance tells you, forgive and love. I wonder, if anyone has ever told you, that it's okay get mad, get sad, get happy, or feel anything at all. Or maybe, it's just your mind telling yourself to block out what you feel so that others won't see or that you say to yourself you can't act this way because it's not allowed. I relinquish emotion where maybe it has no place going in the first place, but I feel it. Other times I need to conceal it to be a rock for family, or friends, or at work. It's a lot and maybe for a second I won't have to get down on myself for doing something I chose to do. Today, after working out at my apartment gym, I sat ate grapes, a whole bowl of popcorn, watching old episodes of Greys' Anatomy...

I went to Oregon last weekend for five days. It was the longest trip I have taken. I visited some friends from college, Jason and Ashley, who are engaged. I met them through a friend named Jeremy. Ashley and Jason toured me around town, Hillsboro and his dad let us come over for some wine and food. The town of Hillsboro is beautiful. I happen to really love the Northwest: Washington and Oregon and upper parts of Sierras of Nevada and California. The weather was in the 70s and ideal for me to get away from heat city in Sacramento! I walked around their Civic Center, got to go to a place called the Venetian, which was delicious. Ashley and I and Jason's dad went to Naked Winery and a brewery called Full Sail, both awesome. I won't spoil it, I think you should google it or go there, worth the time and the money, such a great area too. Jason and I went to downtown Portland. We took the tram aka the max into the city and had a whole day for touring. He took me to VooDoo Doughnuts. ...

Last week, before I went on my trip to Oregon my car was ransacked or robbed rather. I had crochet needles, a crochet bag and materials with an almost finished scarf, a gym bag with sweaty clothes, old shoes, and an old outdated global positioning system (GPS), a donation bag full of old clothes, an iPhone car charger and my work badge. They stole it all, including jumper cables, spare tire jack and threw my insurance paper stuff everywhere. The ironic thing was the night before I was going to leave, I debated bringing all of this stuff in. I cannot go back, and sadly didn't check to see if my car was locked at the complex and my stuff was stolen because it was unlocked. I discovered all of this mess in the early morning and they left grocery bags old ones, and a lint roller and my car reg. I quickly regrouped amid a moment of feeling sad and also a tad frustrated to get to my parents to bring me a gps lovingly and even drive me to the airport. I wasn't in a state to drive, but...

Rare that I would blanket so many topics into one entry, but a mind exploration for all three being so heavy on my heart right now. I was told today the divorce rate here is 70 percent. Now, whether or not that is true, or if that even makes up the right percentage the reality is the same. Some people I wonder if they quit because it's too hard, or they don't get exactly what they want or expect like how it is in the early stages of a relationship before someone yanks your chain or leads you on, whatever you want to tell people to justify that your spouse is wrong and you aren't right. No, you are both at fault. One lie folks, can turn into many more, and it hurts when someone who loves you so much is the last to know. How I know, I don't. I do have friends who I knew who used me as their scape goat to be with someone else by saying they were hanging out with me so the other person wouldn't know. Catch a clue. That isn't right or classy. Just be honest. Yes, lov...

I joined my friends this past weekend to go up to the north end of Tahoe area to watch them do the Tahoe tough mudder challenge. Back in February, they signed up for this hefty event that takes almost 3 hours or more to complete. My friend and I left on Saturday morning, went to a delicious restaurant called : Caliente and hung out on the beach. I was so full I thought I would just find some random person to give my leftover lunch to, no such luck! After a couple hours in the sun and enjoying the blissful backdrop of the mountains and refreshing cool sierra water, we checked into the Tahoe Biltmore Hotel. We later met the rest of the group for dinner and pool time. Their little son swam while I held their young toddler hoping he would nap for a bit. We decided on heading to a local pizza joint so they could carb up for the next day. After short chit chats, and finding stuff on TV, Tara and I headed to bed. She woke up the next morning around 630am, had cereal, a bar, some blue...

Last nite I went to the drive in with my friend Krysta, it was my first time going. It's off Bradshaw not super far at all. The place is called West Wind 6 Theater. Had I known the lines were going to be crazy long I would have said," lets leave early!"  There are 8 large outdoor screens and a ton of different movies showing at once. We went to see Guardians of the Galaxy which was hilarious and entertaining. All you have to do is pay regular movie price, mussle on through the lines and head to the front windows pay and they give you a receipt with a radio channel to tune into to hear the movie. We opted for a double fearure but it was rather late by that point and since she forgot to keep restarting hear car to hear the tunes it for some reason would not start up again. Having been super rude to her friend from work, I was bummed was trumping girls night, turns out he jumped her car and helped us out. Goes to show, not all guys are trying to 'get with you' and as...

A couple weeks ago, a coworker taught myself and a friend how to crochet. We used a half hour from our mornings before officially starting work to learn. He took time out of his day to teach us, which was super nice. I started with learning how to tie a knot. Okay so you are suppose to learn this when you are five. Well it's not really that type of knot, it seems. Take the yarn and pull both ends but don't wrap around and pull like you would your shoe making bunny ears. Easy as cake after he showed me at least 7 times and I myself tried and practiced for... yes 15 times for something very easy. Next, we learned how to do the chain. I was planning on making a scarf with my yellow yarn and was determined to learn, so I watched youtube videos, threw my yarn at the wall and then maybe cursed a little and kept trying. the chain had to yarn over(take yarn over hook facing away from you) and pull through that main knot you made when you started. Keep doing this route, till you have a ...

If any of you have lived in Sacramento, or otherwise known as Norcal, you know very well around this time, when summer is in full swing, it's so hot you could probably fry an egg on the pavement. This would be everyone either results to their trust air conditioner, which then racks up their living expenses and some wonder why their bill went sky high out of nowhere. I speak out of a whole different ball game, from someone whose AC was potentially broken for a month and whose AC system takes 45 minutes to actually get going( don't believe me ask the repairman who promptly told me like it was no big deal). Broken AC is telling me you can forget about breathing normally, and sleeping at night, just sweat it out, you'll be fine. No, thank you. I took some steps to not only save some money, but kick the AC on only when guests are coming. I bought two floor fans, one in my room and in one in my living room with the sliding glass door nearby. I take the livin...

In this life, I manage to rush through a lot of what I do, whether it is my work, or my chores, or what used to be homework. I often do not appreciate challenges or conflict, or even the harsh realities up against what I have already there in front of me. For example, yesterday, I went to a 24hr gym in Ranco Cordova, and never realized how spoiled I was at Folsom. I complained over spending ten extra dollars a month, when really that money goes into having a cleaner facility, good staff members, decent group x classes, good machines, towels, and cleaniless not only for its members, but with the area itself. The Rancho one was filthy and the people were beyond rude! Not that I am judgemental, but I couldn't wait to get out of there. I also thought about other situations where people live in not so safe neighborhoods, and my apartment is just right and comfortable; still has it's quarks and oddities, but I signed on for another year and realized watching sunsets from my balcony a...

After a crazy work week, my friend from work planned for a group of us to go kayaking. Having lived where I do, close to the river, and it's beauty during the summer, and the convenience access I had no idea this sweet, fun little activity was lurking just around the corner and up the street! We met up at the Sacramento Aquatics Center and rented single kayaks for cheap and signed up, registration took five minutes. We didn't even have to go through a boring training water safety class. For those of us who are swimmers and or used to be junior guards, that is a snooze in cruise! After signing up, we put our belongings in the lockers, handed over our ID's for safety precaution, we went to put our life vests on. I couldn't believe how many people were out frolicking in the water, teaching classes, or just hanging out.There was everything from Kayaking, to Paddle Boats, to Paddle Boards, Wake Boarding, Canoeing, motor bikes, etc. What fun! The weather was nice, not too h...

I am always trying to better myself and my life. However, I notice that I do a lot of negative self talk and tend to focus on that one bad thing that happened and it rules my thoughts and my perceptions not just of people, but events. It's amazing when I can step to the side, and see what I had not already seen before especially if I had ignored it in the past. I am one of those girls who will be caught watching a romance movie, thinking that is exactly how real life is supposed to be and go and that everything is simply perfect. Life can be magical, but I feel it is the magic and happiness we emulate towards ourselves and others to achieve that feeling of bliss. I am working on trying to steer myself into the direction of the light. I automatically place the blame on myself even if it isn't mine to bear, because I truly care about that person, but I am realizing it's a shallow set of waters to be treading. Thinking positive thoughts and having a positive outlook may be on...

Hang on let me send a twitter update, create this instagram post, first let me take a selfie, record this song, play angry birds, send a snap chat, take a photo and send this text. PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE. No one likes a person who is texting during a meal, event, or outing you were invited to for conversation, social interaction, and interpersonal connection. I promise you the mobiles (I'm guilty of this too) will still be there when we get back. Better yet, throw it in your trunk. If you are on vacation, leave it in the hotel. Work can wait until you return. There is such option as an out of office reply.    I see people all over hugging their cellular devices as if their lives depend on the phone to keep them warm at night. Guaranteed if you keep staring at the phone, they won't text you back, especially if it's only been two minutes (super guilty there). Memories are made to pictures in our minds and hearts, captured by merely putting away the distraction ...